The Holy Smirk
by KH Pwns My Soul
Summary: Complete! Yaoi, Full summery in profile Roxas & Axel have been flittering through people’s minds searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body’s kiss! But their hosts Sora & Riku hate each othe
1. Dear Diary: Fate's A Bitch

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e.- COLLEGE!

**Players: **

**Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and his always smiling face.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock, and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.  
Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

**A/N:** Needed something to write, because I'm halting all work on Secrets In Love until people review. Plus I was inspired by some awesome writers on this site. So, enjoy.

All of this will be written in a slight Dear Diary format. It's a mix between first person conversational, and first person descriptive.

* * *

And we kissed, and finally everything was whole, and everything was pure, and we were finally freed.

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself aren't I? Maybe I should start at the beginning. My name is Roxas and this is my story. . . well, more like _our _story. All of us.

**  
**

**Chapter 1** –  
**Dear Diary: Fate's A Bitch**

_Axel:_

Dear Mental Diary,

Day one billion times a trillion and a half. I am damned exasperated with this bullshit. I mean, fucking around with people's minds was only amusing for the first century at best. Seriously, I'm beginning to think God, or whoever the hell is up there, has some sort of grudge against me. And really, is he even worth it?

… Yeah, he's worth it. But Diary, I really don't know why I'm wasting my time. It's been over two hundred years since I've last seen him, and I've had thousands of host bodies. No one anywhere had even a slight memory of him, or someone who looked like him, or somebody that acted like him. And how the fuck do I even know what I'm looking for? I mean, how do I even know that he's still alive. If you can even call this pitiful existence alive. I never die, but how could I? I don't have a fucking body. Nope, I just hitch a ride in someone else's mind, and sometimes I can control them for a while, but then they reject me, or my guilt sets in. I don't particularly _like_ controlling people against their will. The naked karaoke gag gets old after the first few times. Why don't I just give up?

But I have that voice, the soft whisper of "find me Axel, and I'll find you. Wait for me. . . Axel, I love you." And I'd do anything to hear that voice again, to see those mischievous green eyes, and feel the softness of his skin. I sighed, floating in the nothingness I had become used to. It's where I seemed to go when I didn't have a host body. It was just black in here, with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me, and the passing faces of ghost people. Host people that lived their lives in the real world. Whole people. I really don't know how much longer of this I can take, even if I love him with all my heart. Every time I tried, and hoped and wished, and it turned out not to be, I died just a little bit inside, my heart crumples just a little bit more. Not to mention that this has slowly used up all of my life force, if that's what you call it. Soul force sounds a little stupid to me. If I give up, at least I'd have all of our memories. . . Okay Dairy, this is it. I'll give this one more try, just one, and if I can't find him. . . then that's it. . . And I find a way to die for real this time.

* * *

_Riku:_

If there was anything that I hated more than Sora, it was already dead. That's right, no more pink fuzzy squirrels dared to enter my yard anymore! Everything about the bubbly sophomore made me cringe and want to rip something apart. He was always _happy._ And he was always surrounded by _people._ _HAPPY PEOPLE! _ And he always had something funny to say, or something to make someone smile. He drove me nuts. I, by nature, hated all things social. I just did. Sure, I was a jock, and had masses of girls flaunting over my rugged good looks, my devilish charm, but I could never make people smile the way _he _did. And that just straight up pissed me off. What does he have that I don't? I pull off genius pranks that have been unrivaled in history! I have been voted prom king for five different schools that I never attended, and I'm loaded. If anyone was to be better than me, it would be God, and even then, I'd only grudgingly admit it. It didn't help anything that he was his school's top freestyle swimmer. That was _my _stroke. How dare he think that he could stroke _anything_ better than I could? But today I would show that _loser_, and his stupid excuse for a school that RIKU RULES!!

* * *

_Sora:_

It was neck and neck and I was going to kick his sorry ass. Sora the Champion. It had a nice ring to it. I'd shove it into that _jerk_'s face. Riku. Just the word made me want to hit something. Hard, and in the face. Riku, the bastard that had filled my boxers with coleslaw in the eighth grade. Riku, the son-of-a-bitch that had told the entire student body and parents of my sexual preference on graduation day. Over the loud speakers.

My name is Sora and Riku is my rival at everything and my absolute arch nemesis. Where I am the class sweetheart, he is the school's badass. Where I try and fix people's problems, and make people smile, he seems to have an affinity for causing pain and then laughing at people's misfortune. You could definitely even go as far to say where I was the beautiful, perfect, angel, he was the spawn of Satan.

But right now wasn't really the time to think about that. My hands sliced through and cupped the water, propelling me forward as my legs kicked for all they were worth. The swim-cap made my hair feel funny, but I had long since learned to ignore it. Faster. Faster. I had to go faster. My lungs were aching, my muscles burning, but I couldn't stop now, I was almost. . . there. . .

A hot burning pain split my head in the mother of all headaches and I screamed in pain, forgetting that I was underwater, and gulped gallons of water into my lungs. The searing pain would not stop, and I floundered, sinking to the bottom of the Olympic sized pool. The last thought I had before drifting into unconsciousness was 'This couldn't be happening. Today was the championships! SOB Institute, Riku's School, against NOOB Seminary, my school. The student body was counting on me. . .'

* * *

_Roxas:  
_

I could already feel in my bones that this would be the last try that I'd have in finding Axel. Truthfully, and not to smudge my macho image, I prayed and hoped will all of my might. I had found a host body that was surprisingly similar to my own. . . Well, when I had a body that is. He looked like me, save for his hair, and he sounded like me, from what I could tell. If any body would catch Axel's attention, it would be this one! Hey, maybe he would be mentally soft and I could just control him no problem. If I had to cooperate with someone, it would be a fucking pain. The only person I had, in existence, remotely put up with Axel, but I would never admit that it was love. Nope, you ask me and I'll straight out tell you that it's for the sex. Which, after all, is pretty good. Not like I've had some in _years. _Just because my host body can, doesn't mean that I can. Besides, I'm holding out for a red head with the most beautiful green eyes that I've ever seen. . . They make my heart melt and my soul sing. . . when I look into them I feel like I'm drowning. . . Oh, you're still here? Um. . . When I look into his green eyes I feel like I'm looking into a dirty fish tank filled with dead algae and polluted water.

Anyway. . . I had made my choice, and now I was going to go through with it. That old saying is come hell or high water right? From my experience it should just be "come hell, and then the seventh circle." But, I closed my theoretical eyes and took the plunge. And fuck did it hurt. Whenever I entered a host body, it always felt too tight, and _itchy. _Of course, seeing as I have no limbs, or skin, or even a body, I could neither scratch said feeling, or understand why it itched at all. But I digress. As I settled myself into what I like to call "the mind seat" I began digging through all of said host's memories. Now, to really understand what I mean, I guess I'll have to describe it to you.

Whenever I am in a host body, I can see what they see, and somewhat feel what they feel, but only when they were awake or conscious. When they aren't, it's like I'm in a giant library with no windows, and all the books and files and papers consist of the host bodies thoughts, and past feelings, memories, ideas they've had, ideas they've yet to have, everything they've learned. . . just everything.

Now, seeing as I couldn't see anything other than the huge ass library of knowledge, I figured my host was asleep. Luckily for me, I knew he wasn't dead. Yeah, once I'd tried to enter a dead host body, my own, and I found only the blank emptiness that I feel when I'm not in someone's head. Who knows, maybe that's where I go when I'm not. Except that I can see faces when I'm like that. Uh, I seriously hope there aren't people inside my body all the time. . .Moving on!

I sat in this itchy shell, and went through all the memories in a rather uncaring fashion. Really, I had no need to know who his crushes were, or what his favorite color was. All I was really looking for was a name. Surprisingly, it took me a long time. Funny, most people mentioned their name to themselves at least four times in a memory. But I finally found it. _Sora. _His name is _Sora._

* * *

_Riku: _

I'd beat him. But only because he was a freakin' pansy, and couldn't take the heat, and faked almost death half way through the match. What a sore loser. He'd _stolen_ my limelight. Everybody was rushing around going "poor Sora" this and "poor Sora" that. So many people left the match before the award ceremony just because _he _was being rushed to the hospital. Who the hell cares?? I'm the one that won!! I'm the victor! Why isn't anyone over here telling me how freakin' awesome I am?

Everyone froze as the announcer asked for our attention. I looked towards the podium and saw an ugly fat man standing on stage. He need to cut down on the meat. He needed to cut down on food in general. I felt an overwhelming urge to shove a life-saver over his head and have him flounder around because it would obviously get stuck around his wide girth. I smiled, my dashing, handsome, devilish smile, that always meant trouble, and moved menacingly towards the podium. He paused for a second, taking in a wheezing breath, and then continued with what he had wanted to say.

"Because of swimmer number 12's injuries in today's match, the match's results have been deleted, and a rematch will be scheduled after swimmer 12 has recovered from today's injuries." I could almost feel the steam coming out of my ears. Sora would pay. He would. I didn't even get an satisfaction of pushing the fat man into the pool, or of all the smutty girls, wearing small miniskirts that fawned over my greatness. All I could think about was Sora, and how I would get revenge.

In the moments to come, I will always say that I was hit by lightening, though there were no clouds in the sky. It was also just about the time that I went crazy.

* * *

_Axel: _

All right. . . Here it goes. I picked a host body at random. Well, not quite random, he had to be good looking and young. I would have taken a deep breath, had I lungs, and shouted "GERONIMO!" (to myself of course.) And squished myself into the host body. One thing was for sure, this guy was _short. _Even though I didn't have any legs, it still felt like they were cramped in this body. I tried to get situated, and found myself looking at the world again, the _real _world. I have to admit, much as I hate being in someone else's body, I loved being able to see again. It was an experience that no one could understand unless they had been deprived of sight. My host blinked a few times, and I focused on the world around me, err, us. Nothing around me looked familiar, but I wasn't surprised. No where really looked familiar to me. It seemed as if he was bent over, and that was also not surprising. I had learned from previous host bodies that the experience of me transposing into them was a bit painful, to say the least. I smirked, in my ghostly smirking way, and plugged into my host's mind.

'_Why hello there'_ I said to my host, smug evident in my voice. _'What's your name?'_

* * *

**Zess:** Yeah, this should be exiting. It was shorter than most of my chapters, but longer than the first chapter to Secrets in Love, so you can be sure that they will get longer as the story progresses. I don't have a definite chapter by chapter plot, but it'll all work out.

Please review, as they are my nirvana.


	2. Dear Diary: There's Luck & There's Doom

**The Holy Smirk. **

By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e.- COLLEGE!

**Players:  
Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock, and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.

Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font  
_This is italic font_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"This is Riku/Sora/everyone else speaking font"

**A/N:** Needed something to write, because I'm halting all work on Secrets In Love until people review. Plus I was inspired by some awesome writers on this site. So, enjoy.  
All of this will be written in a slight Dear Diary format. It's a mix between first person conversational, and first person descriptive. And no, I have no rights to KH.  
I'd like to give some great big giant hugs to all of the people that read and even bigger hugs to the people that took the time to review. You guys are great! And so I dedicate this chapter to you! **Twilight Fire Nobody, Higuichimon, and Setsuna Kurosaki.**

* * *

**Chapter Two-  
Dear Diary: There's Luck and Then There's Doom**

_Sora: _

'_Sora!' _A strange voice was calling to me, the voice so loud it reverberated inside my head. I groaned and rolled over in the lumpy mattress. Wait, what the hell? Lumpy? My mattress was made for royalty! Oh shit, I was kidnapped! The school sweetheart kidnapped and raped, I can just see the papers. . . Oh the shame! The shame! It was probably some big fat ugly guy too. Or worse, a big fat ugly _girl. _Somehow, I knew this is Riku's fault.

'_Psh,'_ said that voice again. _'You haven't been kidnapped, you just almost drowned.'_

And then it hit me. I _had _almost drowned. I was racing against Riku and then that son of a bitch must have hit me in the head or kicked me or something and I almost drowned. He. Will. Pay for this! I opened my eyes to confront the voice that had reminded me of my dire straights and I got the biggest shock of my life. I was in a hospital (not surprising) I was wearing one of those backless gowns (also not surprising) and there was no one around. Yeah, that freaked the hell out of me. I was so very sure that someone had been talking to me. And above that, they knew my name.

Well, it was obviously just a nervous thing. I was probably just too stressed. I don't really like just _resting _so I can see how I might get stressed. It was just so hard to sit and not do anything for long periods of time. I even wiggled in my sleep. Yeah, I was probably just hearing things.

'_You're not hearing things, Sora.' _ The voice said again. _'My name is Roxas and I've transposed my mind-being into your body, and from now on I'm going to be shamelessly using you to find someone rather important to me, got it? It doesn't really matter if you get if, because you have no choice.' _

Nope. I'm just stressed. There is definitely NOT someone named Roxas inside my head talking to me. In fact, I didn't even hear anything. Nope, nothing at all.

'_You're stubborn,' _Roxas sighed inside my mind. No! There isn't anyone in my head! I am not hearing things! There is no Roxas!

'_Then I guess I'll just have to show you,' _ the Roxas-voice that definitely was not real and was not speaking to me said. It's not weird that I was a little frightened right? I mean, it's not like I'm hearing voices, oh no, but any _normal_ and _sane _person would be a bit perturbed if your hands started moving of their own accord, waving in front of your face.

But, the selfsame sane and normal person that I was chose to ignore said waving hands. I mean, it's just the drugs that the doctors gave me, since I'm sure they gave me drugs. I'm probably just hallucinating.

'_Damn, you're stubborn! You are NOT hallucinating. I am real, and I'm here, and I'm talking to you. Fucking accept it already!' _

My whole body wobbled violently, moving and writhing like a fish out of water, and totally out of my control. But it was just the drugs. I would not become some kind of psycho just because Riku was the God-awful butt monkey that he was and I had had a near death experience because of. That's right. This is all Riku's fault. Again I was very adamant about him paying. I would find revenge, voice or not. That isn't to say that I am accepting a voice in my head oh no! It's a phase, it will pass. I would not be turned into some crazy man because of Riku!

So I gritted my teeth, and willed with my entire being to get my body to stop floundering around on the vastly uncomfortable bed. Slowly, oh so slowly I began to regain control.

* * *

_Axel:_

Dear Mental Diary,

I am definitely having a field day with this guy. Whenever I speak, he jumps around all scared and it's freaking priceless. He's actually kind of interesting from what I have learned so far. His name is Riku, which is a little odd, but I'm named after a car part so who am I to say anything? The only problem with this situation, is that I can't control him. I don't know why, maybe it's because I'm a lot weaker then I once was, but that's just how it is right?

Anyways, now I have to figure out a way to get him to co-operate with me. This is going to be tricky. But I'm always up for a challenge!

. . . I hope that Roxas is okay. Today, more than most, I miss him.

* * *

_Roxas: _

I bet that you think that all this is just a big happy walk in a field of daisies right? Wrong. First off I have to put up with some shit of a person, and then I have to actually, work, in order to control them and get to do what I say, and them guess what? The house falls on the proverbial green witch and I still don't find Axel. Yeah, a great big giant party isn't it?

Well this brat, isn't any different. Of all the people that I had to pick, I had to choose some preppy jock kid that thinks he's loved by everyone. Yeah, this is so not my cup of tea, or coffee, or any other cliché beverage. And! On top of all that, _I can't control him. _

If you don't understand the severity of this situation, let me make it crystal clear. If I can't control him, I can't get him to kiss whoever Axel's host body is, when and if I find him. No, when I find him. It's too important to me not to find him. This has never happened to me before. All sarcasm aside, I really don't know what to do, actually, there's nothing I really can do. I can't afford to switch bodies again, there isn't enough of my spirit energy left. And I can't give up now. Maybe I can make this work. If not. . . Well I wont think about the if not. Maybe I should try a different direction with this kid.

Did I mention how much I hate dealing with people?

_  
_

* * *

_Riku:_

Hello my name is Riku, and I suffer from multiple personality disorder.

For the greater part of today, I've been wondering on how to make that work in my favor. Honestly, I didn't see how it could. I mean, swim star turn psychopath at SOB Institute. Went on killing rampage. People are worried about their children's safety. It's not funny. Not in the least.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't make the voice in my head shut up, and he/it was really starting to piss me off. He called himself Axel, but since I really didn't care, I refused to use his given name.

'_Awe, Rikie-poo, you know you'd never want to be without me.'_

"I don't even know who the fuck you are, bitch! Come out and fight me like a man!"

But, once again, no one popped out of my closet with a "Smile, your on candid camera" sign. I haven't been Punkd, and there's still that mocking, retarded voice. And not only the voice, but his God-forsaken laugh. Like he was doing right now.

'_He-he, I've already told you Rikie-poo, I'm part of you. Part of your mind.' _

"I am not crazy, I refuse to believe that I have gone crazy. This must be Sora's fault. I know it is!"

'_Oooh, somebody's got a vindictive streak!' _And then the voice had the gall to blow a raspberry at me.

That was the last straw. In the greater part of four minutes I managed to ransack my own room better than any Hun could have. Barbarians, Ha! I would have been the best barbarian. Freakin' amateurs. But, again, there was no one. I found no speakers, and no hidden places. No tape recorders, cd players, ipod speaker docks, nothing. And all through this was that stupid laughing voice.

'_Give up Rikie-poo, you wont find me. I'm inside you.'_

I began to shake. It couldn't be, it just couldn't. . . I . . .

'_Riku __Tomoshibi__age 22, major undefined, going to South-Outland Bastion Insitute on a full water-sports scholarship. Junior. Current GPA 3.4, not bad. Favorite color, blue. Favorite food, Ramen. Loves to play pranks, the coleslaw was pretty brilliant if you ask me, best swimming stroke is freestyle, you had a cat named moog when you were ten, and you absolutely hate someone called Sora Makokoro.'_****

I felt my mouth drop open, and I stood, staring at the mess of my room that I had created, utterly confused. All of the stuff could have been found on any school paper, since I was featured almost weekly. The thing that got me was moog. No one knew about moog, since he was a stray that I would feed secretly behind my house.

"Are. . . are you serious? This is. . . real?"

'_Afraid so, Rikie-poo, you're stuck with me till I finish what I've come to do.'_

Since I'm a rather intelligent being, I latched onto this statement with all the hope of someone starving to the promise of food.

"So, you'll go away when you finish whatever it is you're supposed to be finishing?"

I felt _myself _nod, and it was one of the strangest sensations.

'_That's right!'_

"Fine. Then we'll do whatever you need, and then you can get the hell out of my body, yeah?"

'_Hai!' _The Axel voice said cheerily.

"Then what is it you have to do?"

Once again I had the uncomfortable sensation of feeling my own face do things that I hadn't bid it to.

'_I have to find my lover, my __gay__ lover, and you have to kiss him.'_

"What!?"

* * *

_Sora: _

I hid my face in the pillow, trying to will myself to sleep, and have this all end up being a nightmare. Seriously, there's only so much crazy that a person can take. But the voice still wouldn't go away. It had been chattering to me about weird things like spirit beings and manipulation for the greater part of four hours, the only time it/he being quiet was when people had come to visit. I had been extremely disappointed when they left, because that meant that the voice came back. It, or he I guess, had alternated between threats, subtle hinting, and even some promises of all kinds of wonderful things. For the most part, I was able to ignore it, and it had actually been a while since it had said anything.

'_Sora, look, I know you don't want me here, but there's something really important to me. Please, I need your help to do it. . . So can we figure out something to make this all work?' _

It was the anguished please that got me. It was filled with so much anguish, despair, and hope that I couldn't really help myself. I know how I've come off so far, but I really loved to make people smile, and make people laugh, and it hurt almost physically to see someone hurting. This excludes Riku of course, I loved to see his pain.

But I turned my head to face the wall mirror, and the face I saw was not my own. My hair had changed to a bleached blonde color, the eyes a sharper shade of blue, the cheekbones more defined, and a defiant slant of the chin. It was at that moment that I began to believe.

"Are you. . . you're really real?"

The face in the mirror nodded up and down. _'Yeah.'_

My eyes continued to search the mirror, trying to find some way to discredit this, to make it be something false. But it wasn't. I just couldn't find any real reason this was happening other than the one presented to me by the face in the mirror.

"What do you have to do?"

The face looked a little embarrassed.

'_I have to find the person I love. Well, I man I love really. His name's Axel.' _

I shrugged, uncaring. I was gay myself so why would it bother me? Besides, there were bigger questions on my mind.

"Who are you?"

'_My name is Roxas.'_

I gave him a pointed look and he fidgeted in the mirror. It was definitely odd to feel myself fidgeting, and then to see a completely different face following through with the movements.

'_Alright, uh, I was born, about two or three centuries ago. . .'_

"What? Centuries? Are you serious? You look my age!"

'_Yeah, well, I didn't really __survive__ for centuries."_

"So does that mean you're some kind of ghost?"

Again, I felt myself, and saw him, fidget.

'_Sort of I suppose, I'm really like. . . well the best way I can describe it is I'm only my soul. When I lived a long time ago a lot of bad shit went down and I was killed, and Axel was too. We were granted a chance I guess, by whoever's up there. I really don't know much about what happened, I just remember waking up and seeing my own body, and then seeing Axel's face. Some voice from somewhere said that we had to find each other again in order to live freely once more. The voice explained that we had the power to jump from people's body's, kind of like hijacking into their mind, and that's how we had to find each other. When we did, we had to have our two host bodies kiss, and then we'd be able to live like real people again. The only problem is that with each transfer, we lose a little bit of our soul's strength, and if we lose it all, we die for good. I don't have enough spirit energy to make another transfer Sora, so you're kind of. . .it.'_

That was definitely a lot to take in, and I honestly didn't understand most of it. But what I did know was there was someone who could have easily passed off as my twin looking back at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. For all of me, I couldn't just "walk away"

"Okay," I said quietly. "I'll help you."

* * *

**A/N:**Yay! Another really freakin' fast update. You all should praise me! Um, I know that there wasn't much Axel or Roxas in this chapter but, the next one will have lots I promise.  
As for Sora and Riku's last names, they both have a specific meaning in Japanese that will later effect the story. Also, if people would rather have longer chapters and longer in between update times please tell!

**Please read and review! Thanks a bunch! **

**Next Chapter: **

**Dear Diary: Who Said Meeting New People Was A Good Thing?**

Axel/Riku and Roxas/Sora meet! What will happen?

And what's going to go on when Riku and Sora decided to have an all and out prank war? Plus meet the friends who will aid in this venture! Find out next time!


	3. Dear Diary: New People Suck

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

**Players: **

**Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.  
**Fuu**- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.

Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font  
_**This is thinking font**_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"This is Riku/Sora/everyone else speaking font"

**A/N:** Secrets in Love has been UNHALTED! But, I won't lose interest in this story. I plan on updating it daily, in short rapid chapters for who knows how long. Uh, if anyone noticed, there's a new character on the "players" list. Unfortunately, I will not be adding her as her own POV character, because she's a minion. If anyone would like another pairing please just review or PM me. I'm trying to keep this story totally KH related though, so keep them KH characters. If you really really want a LeonCloud or other FF pairing, I'll write you a separate story/one-shot. Just have to ask!

All of this will be written in a slight Dear Diary format. It's a mix between first person conversational, and first person descriptive. And no, I have no rights to KH.

Again, this is dedicated to my awesome reviewers and readers! You guys rock!  
**Twilight Fire Nobody****  
****Higuchimon**

* * *

**Chapter Three-  
Dear Diary: New People Suck**

_Roxas: _

"Hey Roxas?"

'_Yeah?' _ I answered slowly. Just because I _could_ talk to Sora, didn't mean I necessarily wanted to. Actually, that wasn't true at all. It's surprising how attached to the little brat that I've become. He was a lot funnier than I had anticipated, and it almost felt like he really cared. Which was preposterous of course, and if he did care, it was only because I was sort of a part of him. But, he was definitely less annoying than I had thought he would be. I mean, I've always considered myself kind of punkish, and he is most definitely a hardcore prep, so who'da thunk we'd get along?

"What's it like not to have a body?"

I shrugged his shoulders, feeling a little uncomfortable with the subject. I tried to pretend nothing was different with me as much as I could.

'_I don't know_,' I admitted honestly. _'It's kind of really hard for me to describe. I mean, it feels like I have a body, but I can't see it, and no one can see me.' _

He nodded, and I squirmed a little bit. It was night time again, and his skin was starting to get itchy. It seemed to get even itchier in the later hours of the day. Or perhaps it had something to do with his room. Yeah, even though I'm barely passable for a pseudo human I can still be allergic to things, and dust had always been a big one for me. Needless to say, his doom room looked as if he had never cleaned it, and dust coated everything but the king sized bed. I moved his hand and started to scratch over his arms trying to get rid of the itchy feeling. He looked across the room to the full length mirror hanging on his closet doors. He liked to do this when he wanted to talk to me, and not feel like he was talking to himself I guess.

I met his eyes in the reflection and he looked a little disturbed.

"Hey Roxas?"

After a brief moment, me waiting for him to continue, I sighed. It looked like he was waiting for a response.

'_Yeah?' _ I asked again.

"Can you do something for me? Can you promise not to move me around like that? It really freaks me out."

What was I supposed to say? That I couldn't really get him to do anything unless he was completely relaxed? That I had no real control of his body movements unless he let me? I mean, he had stopped fighting with me about looking for Axel, and that was about as major as something could get. Plus, it was after all his body. I would have tried at least to kick the shit out of anybody that had tried to puppet me around too. So I relented.

'_Yeah, sure. Sorry.' _

"It's no problem!" He said, as he bounced up and down on his bed in his energetic fashion. I had found that he really could not sit still for more then a couple moments. Hyperactive to the extreme. But, I guess he was tired, because he slipped under his blankets and settled into his bed. It _was_ super comfortable, I had to admit.

"Do you sleep?"

Ah, good question. This kid was smart, and constantly put me on the edge.

'_I think I can, but I don't have to.' _

"Okay, well, goodnight anyways. I think you'll like tomorrow. . ." He said drowsily, already falling asleep. Hey, don't look at me like that; it's not a crime to put someone to sleep! "You can come to all my classes with me. Learn and. . . ." He yawned hugely. "Stuff . . . night Roxas." And then there were only soft snoring sounds. I smiled a little, though I remembered what Sora had asked, and didn't use his body.

College huh? This should be interesting.

* * *

_Axel: _

It was morning and there was someone knocking really loud at the door. Some voice that I didn't recognize was calling for Riku. Well, that's not really all that unusual, I mean, how would I recognize any voice from this time period? All of my friends were. . . I cut myself off there. That's a sad subject that I definitely didn't want to get into.

'_Riku, someone's knocking.'_

He mumbled something incoherent and rolled over in his sleep, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't make him move, no matter how hard I tried. Giving up on the whole, trying to voice him awake, I continued on to drastic measures. I flittered through his mind until I found the nervous system and sent a light bolt of electricity through it.

He jumped from his bed with a thousand or so spasms, and howling in slight discomfort. Okay, so maybe it was horrific pain. How is it my fault that he's a wimp?

'_Morning Riku!' _I sing-songed.

He just grumbled in response once he had regained his composure. The knocking on the door reinstated itself and Riku walked grudgingly towards it. He opened the door and a decidedly evil looking female sauntered in. To Axel, she looked like an over sized rat, but he wasn't about to say anything to upset Riku. Plus this female had a sort of malicious gleam in her eye. Ooh, scary.

"I'm glad you're here." Riku stated to demon-girl.

For the time being I played the silent game. It's always the best way to get information. From digging quickly through some of Riku's memories, I had gained a slight knowledge of afore mentioned female. Her name was Fuu, and the two of them seemed to be friends. Interesting.

"Hm." Was all that Fuu said.

"I need a plan," stated Riku.

"Sora?"

"Yes."

"I need eggs, ice. Many eggs."

Jeeze, people of few words all of a sudden. I definitely felt like an outcast, sitting on the sidelines, and only half understanding all of what was going on. Well, when in doubt! So I rustled through the disorganized chaos that was Riku's mind, and found the "Current thoughts" section. Settling myself in, I began to read, while tuning out the pair in the outside world.

After a few moments, I felt a delicious grin light up my face. They were planning a prank, on the guy that Riku seemed to hate so much. A big prank. Finally, a host that understands the need to be devious every once in a while! Oooh, this was going to be good.

"Eggs, Ice, anything else Fuu?"

"Buckets. Meet you at NOOB at one."

"Yeah."

And then Fuu was gone. I immediately added my input.

'_Hey Riku, what are you two planning?'_

He snorted. "I felt you snooping around in there. It always tickles when you're doing something to my mind. Don't you know already?"

'_Guilty as charged,' _I admitted shamelessly. _'But I still don't know what you need the eggs for.'_

"Fuu said that we're going to take two large buckets, maybe four gallons or so, and fill them with raw egg insides. We're going to mix the raw eggs with large chunks of ice, so that it hurts. Then, at precisely one thirty, we're going to sneak up behind Sora, and dump both buckets on his head."

To say the very least, I was confused. The girl had said no more then ten words the entire time she'd been here. And they had managed to plan all of that? Freaky telepathy skills or something?

'_Uh, when did you two talk about this, because you barely said anything to each other right now?'_

I felt his body shrug in a sort of discrediting way. "Eh, Fuu gets her point across."

'_Sure.'_

So maybe I had misjudged my host. Perhaps he wasn't the brainless, spineless, jock that I thought he was. Either way, I was going to get my prank on!

'_Why don't you dump it on him from someplace higher up? If you run up behind him, someone could see you and try and stop you, and he might get away. And what's with the ice cubes? Why not use Elmer's glue instead?'_

There was a long pause, and I could feel the malevolent smile light up Riku's face.

"You know . . . that just might be the best idea you've ever had."

'_. . .' (Total sweat drop moment)_

* * *

_Sora:_

I yawned, and blinked my eyes a few times. It felt like they were coming into to focus way more then normal this time.

'_Finally, I was getting really bored.'_

I must have jumped up ten feet in the air, my blankets scattering around, falling to the floor. I twisted every which way, trying to find the voice that was speaking to me. My eyes fell on the mirror across the room, and I felt an anvil to the heart. Oh yeah, I was insane, and I had some weird ghost currently occupying my mind.

'_I am not weird.'_

"Yeah, sure. Maybe I should just ask somebody huh? See what the ruling verdict is? 'Hey mister, do you think it's weird for a ghost to jump around and mind rape people?"

'_Fuck, if you're going to be such a bitch in the morning then maybe someone shouldn't keep having wet dreams about some silver haired guy and get some real sleep.'_

There were tremors all over my body. I had forgotten just how much information that Roxas could see. I glared at him through the mirror, hate and rage clearly evident in my facial expression, and voice.

"I do not have wet dreams about Riku."

'_Moaning 'ah Riku, oh don't stop' in your sleep means you're not having a wet dream then? Huh, times have changed.'_

"Fuck you!"

'_Ha-ha, or do you mean, Fuck him?'_

"I've had enough of this. Where are you pansy huh? Huh?! I'll kick your stupid little lying ass!"

I just couldn't take it any more. I punched myself in the stomach hard, and felt all the air leave my body. It was a satisfying sort of pain though. My sane state had gone out the window. Now I just wanted to kick Roxas's ass.

_**Is it because you actually do still like Riku?**_

Great, I thought, as I pummeled myself over and over again, trying to find a way to beat Roxas up as well. It's bad enough that I have one voice talking to me, but now my conscious decided to butt in. And No, I didn't like Riku. That had been . . . a long time ago. Now I hated him with a passion unrivaled by a thousands suns, or something. He was vile and immoral and wicked, and I couldn't stand his smug nature. Actually, he reminded me a lot of Roxas. Lying, smug, jerk! I do not have wet dreams of Riku!

"Gahhh!" I screamed, as I hit myself rather forcefully in the head. It hurt like hell. I collapsed onto my bed, cradling my head in my hands. I felt a shifting inside me, and I didn't really know what to think of it.

'_Hey. . . I'm sorry.'_

Oh, that was it. That weird feeling was someone else clenching my heart. I guess that I can kind of feel Roxas's emotions too? When he was sad, I felt that sadness in my own being, and when he was feeling guilty, I felt it too. Like now.

"It's okay. . . Just don't say things like that anymore yeah? That was. . . That was a long time ago. And he, well he hurt me, and so I hate him. I can't really control my dreams anyways. I just wish he'd leave me alone, in all senses of the word."

* * *

_Roxas:_

I felt like a giant jerk. If I get to use excuses, I forget sometimes that people can be fragile. Plus, with the way that Sora fights back, sometimes I say things that I don't really mean. But, I guess all that counts is that I hurt someone I really didn't want to right?

'_Hey . . . I'm sorry.'_

And it's true, I did feel bad. Who wouldn't? This kid had on the worst pouty face in the existence of all history. I, like the sob I am, fell for it.

'_If you want, I can try and stop the dreams?'_

He looked at me in the mirror, one of his 1000 WAT smiles.

"You'd do that for me?"

I shifted in my ghostly nature, a little uncomfortably. I didn't like doing sentimental stuff, but Sora felt almost like a younger brother to me. Way younger. It was really weird. Normally, I liked it better when people hated my guts. Then they left me alone and I didn't ever have to speak. But for some reason, when I made Sora sad, or hurt, I just felt . . . well mean? I don't know how to say it. . .

'_Yeah. . .'_

"Cool! That'd be great!"

He looked so excited I just didn't know what to do. So I smiled, hesitantly. It looked more like a smirk but it's the thought that counts right? I glanced with his eyes over to the clock next to his bed.

'_Hey Sora, when does your class start?'_

He looked a little confused for a minute, then turned almost robotically to look at the clock. It cheerily stated **10:45AM** in big red numbers.

"Shit! I'm late!"

* * *

_Riku:_

I had skipped my morning class, and was currently making my way back from the grocery store. It's not like my grades really matter all that much. The school just wanted me to swim. As long as I kept a D average, they didn't really give a damn. It helped a little that my dad was boning the dean. So I whistled, and wandered back up the hill to my own wondrous dorm room. I was beginning not to mind the whole Axel voice. He wasn't quite annoying anymore, and he did have a wicked sense of humor. He was even helping me with one of my pranks. And how could I not like someone that was going to help me get even with Sora? I must admit, that I was blocking out the whole, having to kiss some guy to get Axel to leave. There had to be some way around it. Everything was negotiable. I just had to bide my time and figure something out. One could be sure that I would not sully my perfectly good reputation, and waste my gorgeous good looks on a _guy. _I was Super Model material, and I would settle for nothing less. Now, if it was to be some hot chick, oh yeah. I'd tap that in a second, G.

We entered my room, Axel being unusually quiet.

"What, did I do something great in my past life so you actually left already?"

'_. . Nah.'_

He sounded a little forlorn, and as much as I didn't want to, I felt a little bad for the guy. Compassion is not in my nature, but, we were in about as close a proximity that two people can get. I did feel like he was another part of me. Plus, he was actually a cool guy.

"What's up? You sound all retarded."

Hey, I said I cared okay, I didn't say I was going to be all lovey-dovey and touchy feely about it.

'_It's nothing. I just miss him.'_

I didn't have to ask who _he_ was. Axel had spent almost all morning telling me about him, as if I cared. Roxas. Yeah, I really couldn't give a damn, but, it's not like I could shut him up. It was a little cool that he had that love stuff. You know the true love kind. Withstanding time and all that. I'd grown up with my dad fucking everything on legs, and I mean everything. You can see why I kept my cat moog a secret. And who knows where my mom was. I felt a little jealous to tell you the truth; I'd never had someone to love.

_**Sora said that he loved you. . .**_

Yeah, well, Sora's a dick. And besides, I wasn't planning on ever seeing that outrageous flamer ever again, well, except to beat into the ground in swimming, and play pranks on of course.

"Hey Ax, how many eggs am I supposed to use again?"

'_Fuu just said many.'_

I looked at the 10 dozen eggs I had bought, and the half gallon of Elmer's glue, I grinned. The best way to cheer me up was always pranks!

"Then I guess we should use them all huh?"

I heard the wicked chuckle reverberate throughout my mind. This guy had the same nefarious streak that I had running through his blood it seems.

'_This is going to be great. . .'_

We began to mix the concoction, meaning that I was doing all the mixing while Axel tried to think of even more atrocious things to go along with it. He wasn't having much luck but that was fine by me. We already had a great plan. We finished about an hour and a half later, and began the journey north through town, towards North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Axel remained quiet through the whole car ride, and I can only guess that he was thinking about Roxas again. I knew I shouldn't have, because it wasn't my style, but I promised to myself that once we had carried out this prank, that I would help him find Roxas. I could always close my eyes for just a moment, and let the other guy kiss me. That wouldn't be so bad I guess. But absolutely no tongue!!

Do you hear me? None!

* * *

_Roxas:_

It was one _o_f those moments when you feel rage so unrivaled; you think you're going to explode. Having no siblings, I had never quiet experienced this protective fury. But, like I said, I thought of Sora as a younger brother, and there were only three words.

Riku.

Will.

Pay.

* * *

_(A little earlier)_

_Sora: _

I squirmed in my chair, watching the clock as I counted down the last few minutes till class got out. It wasn't that I didn't like the class, because who can't like study hall? But I just had to pee like a freakin' race horse! Incidentally, I never knew that race-horses had to pee more than any other horse. Funny no?

NO! Because I had to fucking pee!

Finally the bell let out the sweet sound of relief. I stuffed my things into my book bag and ran out the door towards, and into the restroom. I stepped forward and was about to drop my pants when a thought occurred to me.

"Roxas?" I hissed quietly. I couldn't mind talk to him like he could to me, and I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy.

'_Hm?' _ He sounded bored.

"Can you, uh, not look? I have to pee. . ."

There was a loud snort. _'Why would I want to watch you pee idiot?'_

I rolled my eyes, because I knew he would be able to tell, and dropped my pants.

'_Oooh, look at your package, what a nice view!'_

I growled menacingly, though there was really nothing I could do, and heard maniacal laughter in my head.

'_Kidding! I was fucking kidding! I'm not looking I swear. But hey why are you grabbing' it so tight huh? I thought you had to pee. If you're going to jack off do it somewhere else buddy gross!'_

I clenched my teeth together, "I'm going to kill you."

He laughed, and eventually I found humor in the situation. A long eventually.

Once I had finished up my "business" I grabbed my book bag off the floor and headed out of the building to my next class. The moment I stepped out of the door I was drenched in what seemed to be liters upon liters of jizz. The only reason I knew it couldn't be so was A) the quantity and B) the nasty yellowish color. None the less, it was fucking gross!

I screamed, and Roxas was equally shook up. I could hear him almost howling in disgust inside my head.

'_What the fuck??'_ He yelled.

Yeah, what the fuck indeed. I wiped the nasty shit off of my face and looked up. There, grinning a grin like no other, was Riku. He waved at me, as if I didn't know he had done it, and then moved away from the roof's edge. I saw a brief flash of light lavender-white hair and I knew who else was there. Fuu. Yeah, this was Riku's doing all right. I gave him the finger and shouted towards his retreating back.

"THIS MEANS WAR YOU BASTARD! WAR!"

* * *

A/N: Dun dun dahhh! So we found out a little bit of why Riku and Sora hate each other so much! Yay!

And Another uber fast update! Double Yay for me! And it's like way longer than most of the other ones. I hope you liked this chapter, it cracked me up personally, but that just may be because I'm demented. Uh, if you skipped over the A/N above, I said that this is going to be a completely KH related fiction, so no uh, LeonCloud pairings, sorry. But, if you'd really like to read a FF fanfic then you can just PM me and I'll write you a one-shot or a short chapter story! Yay.

Please review, because it's awesome. Thanks!

**Next Chapter-  
Dear Diary: It's Fucking ON!**  
Roxas and Sora plot revenge, Riku and Axel go searching for Roxas and someone picks up a hooker. Find out next time!


	4. Dear Diary: It's Fucking ON!

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested. And I don't own any rights to anything but this story.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

**Players: **

**Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.

**(Sub Characters: These characters will not normally have their own POV segments)  
Fuu**- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.  
**Hayner-** Sora's best friend and confidant. Also attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Is currently dating Selphie.  
**Selphie**- Hayner's girlfriend and a well known Riku fan-girl, who (unbeknownst to Riku) supplies Hayner and therefore Sora on Riku whereabouts and secrets. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Olette-** Selphie's best friend and confidant and they are only seen apart when Selphie is with Hayner. Because of this, she has also become a Riku undercover agent. She is very quick with math, and loves English. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Pence-** A computer genius, Pence has a major crush on Olette. Even though they attend different schools, Pence always finds a way to follow her around. Attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary.

Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font  
_**This is thinking font**_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"This is Riku/Sora/everyone else speaking font"

**A/N:** I'M SO SORRY!!!! I know this was a day late, but my computer was being a nuisance! SO I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY!!  
Uhm, more characters added to the character list! Yay! I'm really having a lot of fun with this story. But, if you guys think I'm missing anything, feel free to tell me! Seriously, I don't mind a bit of constructive criticism!

Speaking of which, I received a comment on my deviant art (dot) com account, and I thought I should make things clear. The comment was something along the lines of "you're making Sora's personality way different then he really is. He's not actually a bad ass!" I know this, believe me. Sora is lovable and cuddly and pure and great. BUT! I am writing this in a 1st person, dear diary-ish format. I have never in my life seen a guy talk about himself as cuddly, or sweet, or pure. In the game itself, Sora kicked some super ass! And not once did I hear him say "Ohh, I'm so naïve!" I realize that, Sora's nature is not the bad ass; it's the caring sensitive type that gives-a-damn about his friends. But writing in the format that I am, you have to take into account that this is supposed to be someone writing about himself. I can almost guarantee you that no one in this story will ever say something like "gosh, I'm Mickey and I have the funniest laugh you ever did see!" It will always be one of the other characters (Roxas for instance) saying "And that Mickey had the funniest laugh I had ever seen." Please don't take this as me being pissed off based on a little criticism, because I'm really glad that someone actually took the time to read it, and give me a little feedback about what they thought. I just thought that everyone should understand why I'm writing all the characters the way they are.

Also, someone else was confused about how Roxas/Axel communicates, and do all those stuff with Sora/Riku. I guess I wasn't really clear about that at all was I? Roxas and Axel both have different capacities on what they can and can't do to their hosts. So I guess I'll just outline it right here.

Roxas: Can be seen by Sora in any reflective surface, can read Sora's thoughts, and can mind-speak. He can only move Sora, when Sora allows him to, which is never. Roxas can not link directly with Sora's systems, and therefore cannot make him feel any sort of induced pain.  
Axel: cannot be seen in a reflective surface, or move Riku around. Can read all of Riku's thoughts, and can mind-speak. He can also link into Riku's nerve-systems and therefore actually get Riku to feel things physically based on what he does.

So yay!

Anyways, now that I've written a whole bunch of nothing, hope you enjoy this chapter!

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to: **Olive Jar, Setsuna Kurosaki** and **Higuchimon**! You guys rock so hard!

* * *

**Chapter Four-  
Dear Diary: It's Fucking ON!**

_Riku:_

It had been an all out success. All over campus people were praising my glory as a prank-artist, and that's what I considered myself, and artist. We, being Axel and myself, had heard accounts of an extremely sticky brunette wandering the streets of downtown Outland, muttering to himself. No one had let him into the dorms, and the campus police had had to ask him to "wash up" before attending any of his classes. Supposedly, Sora's best friend Hayner had had to hose him down while people pointed and laughed. I specifically liked the people pointed and laughing. I had a sort of stomach cramp, but I mostly ignored it to bask in my glory, there was no possible way that it could be guilt anyways.

'_We should do that again sometime.'_

"Soon, we have to wait for Fuu to think up something else amazing again."

'_Why wait for Fuu? I'm sure that we could think of something else on our own.'_

"Yeah, but, it's just easier this way."

'_Pfft. . . .'_

But he said nothing more. It was a little unfair I think, that he could read all of my thoughts and emotions and I really had no idea what he was thinking about. A little taunting Sora's head floated through my mind with his tongue sticking out saying in small bubbly letters that "If _I_ had a talking voice in my head I could figure out a way make the telepathy mutual."

Freakin' little twerp. I would find a way, mark my words. I would never be beaten by Sora, let alone his fake mind-taunt.

* * *

_Sora:_

No one has really felt revenge until they stand, sopping wet, on their dorms doorstep freezing, and cold, and still slightly sticky. A rather mild looking police man stood watching me, as if I would try and run away and avoid my civic duty of drying off before wrecking the college flooring. For God's sake, this building was made some time during the forties, it's not like the linoleum wasn't already fucked up.

Roxas was moving back and forth through y mind, completely upset. I had already asked him what was wrong, when no one was looking of course, but he hadn't said much. Just mumbled something that sounded like "planning." And I hadn't heard from him since.

Even Hayner was left, having gone off to find his girlfriend Selphie and some other people who he had failed to mention. Seriously, I was the one pranked, and everyone goes off to do something else, completely ignoring me. I can understand having a life and priorities, like Hayner must have had, but Roxas's life is _me_ at the moment. It's a little heartless to just go and abandon me in my time of need. Bastards. I'm surrounded by bastards!! Including the big ugly security cop guy. Yeah, I said he was mild, but that doesn't take away the ugly. It was starting to get a little unnerving, him watching my every move. I feigned to the left, and his eyes widened to a frightening degree. I smiled impishly at him, and resumed my waiting pose. I don't really understand why he was making me stand here now that I was dry enough not to drip everywhere. Perhaps he was a child-molester. Hey, you never know!

And with that thought, why the hell am I still alone?! I wish I knew what Roxas was thinking. . .

* * *

_Roxas:_

Dear Mental Diary,

We haven't talked in, forever, have we? Sorry about that. But, since you're me, I'm sure you won't mind. I can feel the retaliation plan coming together slowly in my mind, piece by piece. I don't quite know what it's going to be, but it's coming, building up gradual strength and resolve like a giant tidal wave, soon to crash upon me. So here I wait, patiently, as my idea steadily grows, silent, until it comes to me. Please don't ask me why this matters to me so much, because I don't really know. I can blame it on a lot of things, but I think it's just because, well, I care. It's hard not to care about someone when you inadvertently know all their secrets. Yeah, yeah, I know. Then why haven't I felt this way for any other host? It must just be Sora then. He's actually sweet to people, I can tell by the way his whole being lit up when he saw his friend Hayner. I'd never even dreamed of someone being happy while having been a recent victim of the ever growing prankdom. But he was, and he could stand there, dripping with what we had found out was glue and runny eggs, and laugh with his friend. And he was so innocent. As much as he put up this macho 'I'm going to kick anybody's ass that messes with me' act, it just wasn't who he was. I had been with him an all of three days now, and yet, when he would lie in his bed at night, he would ask me these questions, that would really bring out the real him. He was smart, way too smart for his own good. Some of the questions he asked me, no one had ever asked before, and I had never even thought about. And then, as we got more and more into the conversation, he would tell me things. Such, innocent things, like how much he hated chocolate ice-cream without sprinkles on it, or how he'd never quite understood the little dog fad. I'm getting a little out of control with this huh? Well, the bottom line is that I guess I was doing this, to keep the Sora I don't think many people had seen alive. I guess I felt like, every time something bad happened to him, he'd lose his innocence, and turn into just another cynical person like the rest of us. And hope has to come from somewhere doesn't it?

Shit. I should write for Hallmark.

* * *

_Axel:_

Dear Roxas: I miss you, stop being a bitch and find me. Love, Axel.

Yeah, if only I could send it. If only I knew where he was, or even how he was. I think that if I just knew for certain that he was alright, that I could maybe live my life without him. Nah. I think I loved him just enough to be selfish, and not do the thing that might be best for him. Besides, he's supposed to love me right? Well of course he does! Who wouldn't love me with my handsome good looks and ravishing charm? Come to think of it, I myself am beginning to forget just what I looked like way back when. But, that doesn't really matter right now. I'm just lonely. No matter how much Riku talks to me, or how many pranks we pull, I still am just lonely. Roxas, I'm starting to lose hope, please, don't take too much longer.

* * *

_Sora: _

The security cop had finally decreed me passable to enter the dorm halls. As I passed him on my way in, I made a sort of exclamation.

"Wow!" I said, sniffing the air around him. "It smells just like. . . BACON!!"

And then I had run for all I was worth, down the hall towards my room. I could hear the faint indignant squawk and I pushed myself a little faster. Man oh man, if he caught me I'd be in deep shit. But hey, how was I supposed to resist? A silly grin lit up my face, and I was waiting for Roxas to make some sort of sarcastic comment, but still there was nothing. My grin lost a little luster at that. Oh yeah, I had been abandoned hadn't I?

I pushed my key home into the lock on my door, and jiggled the handle till it swung open. Walking in I looked around for somewhere to sit, and found myself clinging upside down Toad-style (1) to the ceiling.

For the first time in a while, I heard Roxas's concerned voice. _'Hey Sora, is everything all right? Sora? What the fuck is going on?'_

I was about to snap back with a "What the fuck, can't you see for yourself idiot?" (I mean, he had abandoned me after all) when I realized my eyes were clenched tightly shut. Oops.

I opened my eyes again and looked at the occupants lounged around my room.

"What the fuck!?!? Don't you guys know you shouldn't scare me like that!??!"

Sitting in my lounge chair was Hayner, his girl friend Selphie deposited neatly on his lap. Beside them was a long term friend of ours named Olette, who looked beautiful and well put together as always. Her long term stalker, and also part of our group, Pence, sat besides Olette on the worn out old sofa.

"Gosh Sora, you stink." Said Olette, wrinkling her nose.

I rolled my eyes at her and pounced, landing nicely between Pence and Olette, and hugging the green eyed girl for all that I was worth. Subsequently, I managed to get all the remaining goo off of myself, and on to her.

"Oh Gross!" Olette and Pence both shouted. Olette smiled over at Pence, and Pence looked like he had just won the Pulitzer Prize.

'_Uh hello!? I asked what the fuck was going on, and who the hell are these people?'_

"These are my friends."

The whole group turned towards me and I felt a little scared. Oh shit! I forgot that no one can here him. Jeeze, this could get a little tricky. Or . . . maybe not.

I screwed up my face in my award winning pout and batted my eyelashes effectively.

"Oh you guys, I've just had such a bad day, and no one was here with me. . . So I'm just so . . ."

I didn't even have to continue, which was good because I had begun to falter. Selphie and Olette had both let out girlish screams of pity and had, for lack of better words, attacked me with love. Pence, seeing how effected Olette had become, and being one of my best friends, had also become meagerly sympathetic and patted my head in what I guessed to be affection. Hayner knew all about my super-pout, so he just laughed at me. Bastard.

'_Humph, well, if you've already got enough people to console you, then I'm going elsewhere.'_

I honestly have no idea what he was so pissed about, I mean, I hadn't done anything wrong had I? He was just being over-dramatic. . . Or maybe he just didn't want to be a part of me anymore. Well that suited me just fine, see if I care Roxas! See if I care!

I heard a drawn out sigh inside my head and I looked over at the window. Roxas looked back at me, hurt. That's when I got it. Really, I was the only friend that Roxas had until he found Axel. Was he . . . jealous? I felt bad, seeing as I did like Roxas a lot. I tried to make my apology clear in my eyes, and he seemed to get the picture.

'_Yeah, I'm sorry too.'_

It seemed as if we understood each other a lot better than I understood most people. Interesting I guess. But the girls were finally settling down, so I looked around the room my gaze away from the window. Because there was nothing reflective, I didn't notice the tremors starting to run through Roxas's faux-body, though I did feel something strange inside me.

"What are you guys doing here anyways?"

"We came to console you," said Olette quickly.

"Bullshit. Why are you here?"

The four of them traded looks, and Hayner grinned wickedly.

"Payback."

* * *

_Roxas: _

Yeah yeah, I'm a jerk. I get it. I knew I shouldn't have been jealous, but hey, it's an emotion, and a person can only go so far to control them.

I was about to launch into a completely apologetic speech about what I had been feeling, and why he shouldn't feel bad when I felt _it._

. . . My idea you perverts!

It hit me like a ton of bricks, my whole body shaking with its weight. Okay, so maybe I was being a little dramatic. It was more like a light bulb going off above my head type of moment. But none the less, it was still a great idea! I trained myself back into the real world just in time to hear Hayner say "Payback."

Another light bulb flashed above my head, and I got almost giddy on this rush. Oh my God, I'm brilliant! And it would work so much better if I could recruit Sora's friends.

'_Sora! Sora I've got to talk to you!'_

I heard Roxas's voice, louder then it had ever been inside my head. I looked frantically around the room, before my head exploded. If he said something that loud again, I knew the mother of all headaches would be upon me. My eyes fell on my toiletries bag and I felt sweet relief.

"Hey guys, I'm going to run to the showers, so hold that thought!

Before giving them a chance to say anything I grabbed my bag, a change of clothes lying beside it, and rushed out the door. Unlike some of the rich kids, I didn't have enough money to pay for an adjoining bathroom. So, I had to use the communal bathroom on the end of the hall. I punched the key-code on the door lock and the door hummed briefly before swinging open. Darting inside I looked around. Good, no one else was there. I pulled out the "bathroom being cleaned, please use the one upstairs" sign from the janitor's closet and hung it on the outside of the door. Everyone knew the cleaning times, and now was not one of them, but from the ten guys on this floor, the rule was, if you wanted to use the bathroom for . . . activities with . . . partners . . . then you hung the sign on the door and everyone would leave you alone. I myself had never had to use it, yet!

I moved towards the showers, actually intending to clean myself off. I mean, I don't personally like smelling like old eggs and have little flakes of glue sprouting off me with each movement.

I stripped down to my boxer-briefs and eyed the stall. Shit. I'd have to get naked, and I remember the bathroom, I didn't want that to happen again. Then I was hit by a bolt of intelligence. Roxas couldn't see when I had my eyes closed, so I'd just close my eyes in the shower. Brilliant Sora, just brilliant!

So I slinked into the shower, placed my soaps where I could get them without opening my eyes, and turned on the water. Hoping back, I stripped out of my boxer-briefs with a whoosh, and jumped under the warm spray.

"Okay Roxas, so what's up?"

He chuckled and I was almost scared. Uh oh, this sounded dangerous.

'_I know how to get Riku back.'_

My interest was instantly piqued. I grabbed the body wash, and began to scrub it over myself. "Oh? How?"

He chuckled that evil chuckle again, and I felt shivers run down my spine.

'_We're going to out-prank him.'_

I nearly dropped the shampoo bottle I had picked up off the floor.

"What?! I'm no good with pranks!"

'_That's okay, because I am. As long as we can get your friends to help us, it'll be perfect.'_

I was almost scared to ask, but I had to know. Somehow all of my hopes and dreams were coming true. I would be able to prank Riku back. And Roxas's said it would be better than all of Riku's? Oh my god, this might be the greatest day of my life!

"Tell me what it is you want to do."

* * *

_Axel:_

I felt it. Somewhere, somehow, Roxas was doing something deviant. I don't know how I knew, but I just did. For the first few moments I just didn't know what was going on, but I knew that something was happening. And suddenly it hit me. Roxas. He was alive. I felt a joy unsurpassed by even eating hot fudge after the best pizza in the world. He was _alive. _And up to mischief it seemed. I wonder if I could track this. . . Mischievous aura. I don't think that I could.

'_Hey Riku?'_

The boy started, and I realized that I haven't really said anything in a while.

'_Hem, sorry. But, uh, do you mind if we go search for Roxas?'_

I felt him nod, and my heart clenched with joy. I was sure now. I was going to find Roxas.

* * *

_Riku:_

I don't know what possessed me, but here I am wandering the streets of downtown-Outland looking for someone I don't even know. Axel can't even really describe him to me. All I've got to go on is a few '_he's short, and cute, and. . . . And I'll know him when I see him!'_

Yeah okay. I was not going to go up to every resident of Outland, and ask them if my inner voice could look them over until he decided whether or not they were host to his long lost dead boyfriend.

What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

_Sora:_

"Operation Riku Man Love, Go!"

We filed out of my dorm room like minds possessed. In my case, I suppose it was true.

Hayner and I, now clean of all egg-shame, drove to the hardware store in his Jeep to pick up the fluorescent pink paint that we would need. Selphie and Olette had gone to find Riku's whereabouts and score us his room key, as well as create the diversion that we would need. Pence, being the computer genius that he is, had gone to begin the newspaper article that would bring all of this together and make it a success. Roxas, though he could do nothing else, was going over and over the plan, to work out any kinks there may be. Plus he was thinking up an alibi, should we all be caught.

When Hayner and I had bought the hot-pink paint, we headed over to SOB Institute, and waited in the guest parking lot where Selphie had told us to meet her.

Meanwhile. . .

* * *

_Selphie:_

I had just finished up Olette's makeup, and she looked stunning as ever. I felt a little pang of jealousy, but it was quickly erased. I mean, we were best friends! Besides, she needed to look this good for Operation R.M.L. to succeed. We both felt a little grossed out at the fact that we would have to flirt with Riku, but Sora had been our friend for almost eternity, so how could we not do anything we could to help him? Plus, Riku was a chauvinistic pig. He deserved what he got.

We ran out of the restroom of the boutique we were currently occupying when we saw Riku pass by, muttering to himself. We had been tipped off earlier on that Riku had been wandering down Main Street.

Perfect.

Olette took on the Miss Innocent look, and crashed headlong into Riku, purposefully. She nearly fell but was caught in Riku's arms. It was a sappy moment you could be sure. If I didn't know Olette, or Riku, I would have sighed over it. But, alas, one's lesbian, and the other's a jerk.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Olette purred.

Seriously, she should go into acting. Her face was flushed, and she was looking up at Riku through her long lashes. Riku, of course, was falling for it. I moved as inconspicuously as I could to position myself behind Riku. His keys were hanging slightly out of his back pocket. This was my mission. I snatched them out of his pocket, with the speed rivaled only by those of the ninja class, and booked it for all I was worth. It's not like I had to worry though, Riku was almost drooling over Olette. Disgusting. I ran to the meeting spot, and saw Hayner's jeep waiting.

* * *

_Axel:_

I saw the two girls, and knew they meant trouble.

'_Riku. . . I don't think. . .'_

"Shh!" He said, quite forcefully. With his eyes, I saw his gaze travel over the girl that was currently being held in his arms. God, this was pathetic. Come on Riku don't you know you're falling for it? I felt his keys slide out of his back pockets, and tried once more.

'_Riku. . .'_

But he wasn't listening. Fine then, if you want to be robbed, or what have you, then I'm not going to give a damn. I retreated to the inner recesses of his mind, and blocked out the outside world.

* * *

_Sora:_

Operation Riku Man Love Complete!

Hayner, Selphie, Olette, Pence, and I all gave ourselves a pat on the back, Roxas silently congratulating us all in my head. I have to admit, it was pretty fucking brilliant! Riku lay sprawled on his back, wearing only his boxers, dead to the world. That had been Olette's doing. It had been her job to take the unknowing Riku to a night on the town, getting him as smashed as she possibly could. One would think, with her small size, she wouldn't be able to hold her liquor, but that girl could throw it down. Needless to say, she had succeeded, and dragged the passed out Riku here.

Selphie had quite brilliantly pulled off the key situation, and it had been easy as pie to get into his dorm room. Hayner and I had spent the entirety of the day painting the white dorm-walls a hot pink, and making crude guy on guy drawings on his walls in white along with the saying "Riku's house of Man Love."

When Olette had brought Riku back, we had posed him in his boxer's and taken a few candid shots, which would bring this whole plan together. We shut the door to Riku's room, leaving his keys inside, and headed for Pence's dorm, which was only a few floors up. In a matter of moments, we had a cover page for the school's newspaper, which Pence produced. In large bold letters it said "Riku's House of Man Love and Prostitution, Call for a Good Time!" followed by our photographs of poor posed Riku.

Vengeance is sweet.

* * *

A/N:

Yay! It's done! I hope you liked it. I liked it. :D The ending was a little rushed, but it will be expanded on in the next chapter!

Read and Review please! Thank you!

**Next Chapter-  
Dear Diary: Screw This I'm Going Home**

What happens when the SOB Institutes dean finds out about the paper? Will Axel's and Riku's tiff become a full fledged fight? And what happens when Sora begins to regret what he's done? Find out next time!


	5. Dear Diary: Screw This, I'm Going Home

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested. And I don't own any rights to anything but this story.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

**Players:  
Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.

**(Sub Characters: These characters will not normally have their own POV segments)  
Fuu**- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.  
**Hayner-** Sora's best friend and confidant. Also attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Is currently dating Selphie.  
**Selphie**- Hayner's girlfriend and a well known Riku fan-girl, who (unbeknownst to Riku) supplies Hayner and therefore Sora on Riku whereabouts and secrets. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Olette-** Selphie's best friend and confidant and they are only seen apart when Selphie is with Hayner. Because of this, she has also become a Riku undercover agent. She is very quick with math, and loves English. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.**  
Pence-** A computer genius, Pence has a major crush on Olette. Even though they attend different schools, Pence always finds a way to follow her around. Attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary.  
**Larxene- **Dean of SOB Institute, currently sleeping with Riku's dad.  
**Xemnas- **Riku's father and currently sleeping with Larxene. Loves terrorizing small things, and wants his son to be recognized as the best, no matter the cost.  
**Demyx- **Axel's best friend, boyfriend to Zexion. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Fights with a sitar shaped battle axe.  
**Zexion**- One of Axel/Roxas's friends, boyfriend to Demyx. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Is in charge of battle strategy.  
**Marluxia- **Another of Axel/Roxa's friend. Part of the Castle XIII Guard. Messenger, and fights with

Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font  
_**This is thinking font**_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"_This is Riku mind-speaking font" ____ notice the TWO quotation marks._  
"This is everyone else speaking font"

A/N: Here's the next chapter. It's more of an inside the character's heads chapter then anything else. It kind of sucks, because it's really angsty, so I'm sorry. Atleast it's really long and gives a ton of background info. But the next chapter will be much better! I promise! You guys will finally get to see what you've all been waiting for in the next chapter!

There is a flashback in this chapter. It's labeled, so you should be able to see it is. Uh, in the flashback Roxas and Axel are real people again, so don't get confused when they talk in normal people talking font.

Oh, and this will be a 10 chapter story. If everyone wants me to, I guess that I'll turn out a sequel, but let me finish this one first!

* * *

This is dedicated to the awesome people that read and review this story! Because you guys are the reason I write this, and you are awesome like wow!

**OtakuLady**

**Higuchimon**

**Drace-Hunter**

**What A Rubber Chicken**

Again. You guys are the best!

* * *

**Chapter Five-**

**Dear Diary: Screw This, I'm Going Home**

_Riku:_

"This is unacceptable Riku!" shouted the dean of South-Outland Bastion Institute.

I raised my eyebrows, pretty pissed off. For the greater part of the days Axel had been in complete sulk mode, totally ignoring me. Of all times of course!

"I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but I didn't take those photos. I don't have any freakin' idea how they got there."

The dean, a lady not much older then I slid her glasses up her face, and under her long antenna like hair.

"I don't want to hear any excuses Riku. The whole school, me included, has been letting you slide, because you're our all start player, but this is the last straw. I can't let this slander continue. You're sullying the schools good name."

A retort was quick to my lips, but I didn't get the chance to pull out the big guns. At that moment, the door was flung open and my dad walked in. And I thought I had felt pissed. He looked positively livid. It was a big difference from his usual only mildly angered mode.

"Larxene," he spit out accusingly. "What is my son doing here?"

Let's stop for a moment, pause, or whatever you will. For anybody to really understand the situation, you had to know a little bit about my dad. Summed up, he was a power hungry business man, libido bigger that the moon, and slightly psychotic. He got his kicks by abusing things, Larxene and I included. Well, he didn't really do anything to me anymore, since I wasn't living at home. And Larxene enjoyed the "Rough play." Yeah, shudder and a half. I'm going to need a therapist until I die from some of the mental pictures. But, one thing in his favor was that he was always there to bail me out if you would. From the outside, it would look like fatherly concern, but everyone who was close to Xemnas knew better. He didn't want his reputation to turn sour. Therefore, I had to be the perfect son. No matter what. It was one of the main reasons that I hadn't told him about my feud with Sora. As much as I hated the twerp I didn't want him to end up dead.

Larxene paled considerably. "Xemy darling, what are you doing here?"

"That's Mr. Tomoshibi to you. I'll ask only once more, what is my son doing here?"

Not someone to just back down, Larxene flung the newspaper bearing my picture at my dad. Oh shit, now I was in for it. Thanks a freakin' bunch Larxene.

"That! That's why he's here!"

My dad only briefly glanced at the pictures, not really caring. This surprised me a ton, until I remembered what he had said about tabloids. "Whether it's good or bad, publicity is still publicity my boy!"

"This is not what I asked Larxene, and you know how much I hate repeating myself."

His whole face was flushed, and I was briefly reminded of some nuclear explosion that he had studied in science. The veins on the side of his neck were popping out, and his tie hung askew. Oh shit, everybody duck and cover. When my dad didn't care about how he looked, you knew the shit was about to hit the fan. Larxene was finally starting to get a little worried.

"What am I supposed to do Xemnas? I have to withhold the policies and by all accounts he should be expelled!"

I paled. Expelled? I couldn't get expelled. That would mean that I would have to go and live back at home with my dad telling me just how much of a failure that I am all the time, and how I ruined the family name. Yeah, that would be just a bit worse then hell I think.

"Out of the question."

Phew, score two points for dad. Like I said, he could be an asshole, but he sure got me out of tight spots.

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

Ouch, you know I have ears right Larxene? She was fucking screeching.

'_Damn that bitch is loud.'_

I almost agreed verbally. Yeah, that would be just the thing I would need, my dad finding out I'm crazy. It was a bit reassuring that Axel was over his bitch-out though. I had sort of kind of missed him.

'_So did you miss me Rikie-poo?'_

"Fuck no I didn't, you scumbag," I whispered as quietly as I could. It's not like they could hear me over all the shouting anyways.

'_Liar. . .'_

I'd never seen my dad shout, but it was definitely not something I wanted to see again. Suddenly though, he calmed down.

"Like I said Larxene, expulsion is out of the question." He waved his hand dismissively. "Just give him a few days of community service or something, and then it will all blow over."

Larxene was about to argue, but my dad sent her a warning look. In reality it was much more then a warning. It was one of those "if you disobey me, no one will find you alive." As predicted she shut up, save for a few grumbles. She pulled out a few papers and thrust them towards me. After a look at my dad, who nodded, I signed them. She tore a piece off and handed it to me.

"Community service. Five days. Now get out."

"It's not like I wanted to be here in the fucking first place."

I slammed the door on my way out, which was a bit childish, but can you blame me? I'm getting community service for something that I am sure I didn't do. In short, it just wasn't fair.

'_You should have listened to me.'_

I was outraged. The whole world was against me it seemed.

"What the hell?? I don't have a clue what you're talking about, plus this is really not the time to piss me off."

'_Retard. I'm talking about the girls.'_

"Who the fuck are you calling a retard?"

'_You ass-munch. The two girls from yesterday, they took your keys. I'll bet you fifty cents that they're friends of the brunette kid.'_

My keys. The hot girls from yesterday. Shit! This must be Sora's fault! He's going to get his ass beat. Well, not literally, I don't think I could ever _really_ hurt Sora, but in the pranking sense.

"Axel? Fuu is out sick, and I really need to get even with Sora, please, can you help me?"

There was a long pause, and I walked a little quicker unintentionally.

'_Yeah. . .,'Axel said with a small sigh. 'I'll help you. I mean, you have been doing more for me then anybody else.' _

I grinned. "Thanks."

A little old lady walking by looked at me strangely, and the little taunting Sora began to circle my head again. Oh yeah, I can't talk to him in my head like he can. I looked down at the paper in my hand that Larxene had given to me. On it was written the time and place of my community service, starting today. It said, quite clearly, that I was supposed to be there in one hour. I was expecting something like raking up leaves but I was definitely not up to what they had in mind, cleaning out the public restrooms by the park. Hell fucking no. I was NOT going to do any clean up duty. They could kiss my white ass. Besides, my dad would handle it.

I took off running towards a deserted area of the city. It was an old run down bell tower, and no one ever went there anymore. It was supposed haunted, but I knew better. I'd been there many times, just to get away, and it was sort of my sanctuary. I made it there in no time, it being only a few blocks away from school, and ran up the steps to the loft. I settled myself under the large bell that was never used anymore. A few pigeons flew in and out of the loft, but I paid them no head.

'_What are we doing here?'_

"Ax, do you think it's possible that I can learn to mind-speak to you?'

He paused for a while, and I felt him moving inside my mind. _'I don't know, no one has ever asked me that before.'_

I felt a little hopeful, seeing as he hadn't said no right away. "Can we try?" It wasn't like I really wanted to talk to him, but I had to beat Sora. I just had to.

'_Sure.'_

* * *

_Sora: _

Dear Diary, I sat looking at the picture in the paper, staring at it really. I didn't know what to think anymore. At the time, I had thought it was the funniest thing in the world, but now? It was only a day ago that we did this, and in the pit of my stomach, I was having the worst of regrets. I bet he never got regrets after he pranked me. It should have been enough that I was just doing it to regain my manly honor. It should have been enough that he had done far worse to me. It should have been enough that he deserved it, but it just wasn't. I felt like the worst person in the world.

Why couldn't I be cold and callus when it came to Riku? He had hurt me far worse then anyone in the world had ever. Torn my heart asunder or whatever the hell they called it. See, Diary, I'm so depressed that I'm speaking in cliché. I didn't want to still feel this way about him. I would never admit it to anyone that I did, especially after what he did.

Roxas had tried to help me out, and he had managed to get rid of the dreams, but I still thought about him too often. It was easy to just let my mind wander and remember how good it was. But it was a long time ago and I just have to move on right?

'_Everything okay?'_

I smiled, a little sadly, at the worried face in the mirror.

"Yeah, just, can you give me a while? I'd like some privacy if you don't mind."

'_Sure. . .'_

* * *

_Roxas:_

Well, now that Sora was being a little whiney bitch, I had a lot of time to myself. Just kidding, I felt really bad for the brunette. It must be hard for someone you love to treat you the way that Riku had. But, I think I'll let him tell you that story. As for me, I was stuck in the big library, and I didn't really want to read any of Sora's memories, they just made me feel a little lonely. The kid had so many friends it was ridiculous, I mean, it seemed like everyone from his school loved him. And who wouldn't? He was nice, and bubbly, and all around the social butterfly. I could count my real friends on one hand, and now. . . well now they were probably all long dead.

Yeah, what a way to ruin a mood right? I closed my metaphorical eyes, and sighed. There really wasn't anything I wanted to do more then to be with Axel. Pranks are great, and Sora was great, but no one really compared to Axel. Shit, I sound like some lovesick girl.

But it was too late, I was already drowning in one of my own memories.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

_Roxas:_

He leaned down and kissed me. I grabbed his shoulders for a type of balance, but we were both shaking. Any moment now, the word would come, and we'd be sent to God knows where to fight God knows how many, and only (you guessed it) God knew who would make it out alive. So our holds on each other were tight, and desperate. Our tongues intertwined, and our hearts were in this kiss.

He pulled back after a moment, breathing hard. "Rox, I love you. No matter what happens out there, I'll never leave you. I promise."

My eyes were clouded with passion, fear, and regret. My voice was harsh as I whispered "I love you Ax. . ."

The door flew open, and dread filled my heart, I looked towards the messenger. "What news do you bring Marx?"

The pink haired youth looked as out of place as we did in the rushed together battle armor. In reality, we all weren't wearing much then a few pieces of metal and a black cloak for camouflage. "They already breached the front walls Roxas, and the top ordered everyone to fall back to the inner sanctum, but," Marluxia looked over at Axel, his eyes pained. "They took Demyx hostage, and Zexion after him. No one has heard from them since. Axel you've got to do something, you know Zexion isn't that great of a fighter. Please, you two, save them. I'm not supposed to tell you this stuff but they are our friends! We have to do something."

It was an instant, silent decision. I grabbed my two large key shaped blades and ran out the door, Axel at my heals. We headed down the halls, and out the secret exit to the battle grounds. Many of our own comrades lay dead, even our friends, but we could no longer do anything about that. We had to save Demyx and Zexion. Axel twirled his two chakram in his hands, preparing on the coming battle. Based on the information that Marluxia had given us on the run we had managed to pinpoint the base of the heartless bastards. Skirting around the main battle, we only had a few small skirmishes that we thrashed. We came directly upon the camp soon after.

Demyx lay bound and gagged next to Zexion, who was unconscious and bleeding from a large gash to the head. Other then the two of them, there was no one around. My rage went out of control, as did Axels. We rushed to the scene, and began to untie Demyx.

"Are you alright? Roxas, go bandage up Zexion and try to get him awake. Hold still Dem, we're going to get you two out of here." Axel was talking in a soothing voice, though commanding.

I moved over to Zexion's unconscious body when the hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was just about that time that Demyx was freed of his gag.

"Run you fools it's a trap!"

An arrow pierced my shoulder with slicing pain. I turned in time to smash another with my blades. They were falling from everywhere. But too late I felt large footsteps coming up behind me. The arrows too had been a diversion?? I turned, but the figure was already upon me. He was a portly man with a large mace. I closed my eyes, accepting my own death.

But the pain never came.

I opened my eyes to see Axel, the large mace buried deep into his chest, his arms outstretched, chakram dropped to the floor. He had been protecting me. Large amounts of blood gushed down from his fatal wound. I saw red. The fool! I raised my two blades into the air, and howled. It was a totally animalistic sound, filled with anguish. I ran for the large man, who was now weaponless, and began to slice him into millions of pieces. I didn't notice that, upon seeing the trap, Marluxia had run and gone to get reinforcements. All I saw was red, as I cut more and more into the man's body.

"Rox. . ." a hoarse voice called to me, not far off.

It snapped me out of my trance. I turned to see Axel's pained, yet slightly smiling face.

I immediately dropped my blades and kelt beside his body. He was now laying on the floor, the mace having been thrust out of his body. His blood was everywhere. The tears that I could no longer hold back poured down my face. He couldn't die. . . he just couldn't!

"Axel . . ." I whispered, my throat raw.

"Sorry Roxas. . . I. . ." He said nothing more, and I heard the whistling of arrows throughout the air. I looked around, but Demyx was no where to be found, and neither was Zexion. All I saw were the many new heartless bastards that had come upon the scene, drenching everything with sharpened arrows. I knew I could never win so I did the only thing I could. I threw myself over Axel's body and blocked out the pain as each new arrow pierced my flesh. I leaned down, and kissed Axel's cold lips. His eyes were closed, but I had to hope that he could feel my touch, and hear my voice.

"Find me Axel," I whispered. "And I'll find you. Wait for me. . . Axel, I love you."

My eyes closed, and I was covered in darkness.

* * *

_Axel:_

'_You're still talking out loud.'_

"Fuck! How the hell can this be so freakin' hard?" Riku muttered, exasperated.

'_Probably because you've never tried to talk silently to someone before.'_

"Whatever, lets try again."

He got up and started pacing the small bell loft. Which meant that I too was pulled up and forced to pace around in an agitated manner. I personally, was getting a huge kick out of this. Riku might have a body but I had found something that he couldn't do. In reality I wasn't really trying to help him. It was mean, and yeah, childish, but I was having fun! I listened in as his thoughts ran around in circles, cursing Sora, cursing Me, cursing Sora, and cursing Sora.

Wait, did I just _hear _what he was thinking? Shit, he did it.

'_Riku, I can hear you.' _I said, totally disappointed.

"What? I didn't say anything."

'_No, I mean, I could hear what you were thinking.'_

There was a pause and then an experimental _"Like this?"_

I nodded, and I know that he felt it. _'Yeah.'_

He jumped up and down, shouting "Woohoo! I did it! Fuck you little Sora taunting face!" and almost managed to jump out the bell tower if I hadn't warned him.

'_You did it.'_

"Thanks Ax."

I felt a little bad that I had been so childish. I mean, did I really care? Riku had done more for me then any other host body had. Why was I being such a dick?

So I smiled in my own ghostly way and said _'Yeah, no problem. Now, let's get back to your dorm so we can start plotting.'_

I started to laugh in my own maniacal way, and soon he had joined in. It was one of the better moments of the day, to be sure.

* * *

_Roxas:_

I was pulled out of my horrible memories when Sora opened his eyes. To be sure, I wasn't in the best of moods, but I was a little relieved that Sora seemed to be in a better mood.

'_You alright now?' _I asked, a little hesitantly.

He looked at me in his dorm room's mirror and smiled one of his brilliant smiles.

"Yep! I've just decided that Riku's an asshole, and deserves whatever he gets!"

I could feel the tiny bit of regret that was still surfacing in Sora's head, but I decided not to mention it. It would work out in the end somehow anyways.

'_Hey, want to go somewhere? I'm kinda tired of this room.'_

"I was totally just thinking that!" He said brightly.

Well duh, that's where I got the idea from genius. But once again, I decided not to mention it. He grabbed his keys from the nightstand, slipped into his shoes, and off we went.

We were just out the door when annoying fake bell chimed across the loud speakers. I assumed that it was some kind of school system. Whatever it was, I thought they should pick some kind of new bell. Sora stopped in his tracks, and moved his eyes to the speaker box. Yeah, that was a little weird to me. It's not like you could see the speaker through the box silly.

"Excuse me for the interruption," a too nice female voice said. "But we have a school announcement. The swim meet that was postponed due to a participants injury has been re-dated. It will happen in three days at the same location as it was prior. Please visit

Your school box office for bleacher seat tickets. Thank you, and enjoy your day."

The annoying bell chime sounded again, and I ground my ghostly teeth together. Sora, on the other hand, was completely excited.

"Yes! The swim meet! Now I can really show Riku just how much of a loser he is!"

It had never really occurred to me to ask about all of the swim gear cluttering Sora's dorm room, but now it made much more sense.

"Roxas, do you mind if I go practice?"

What was I supposed to say? I mean, I hadn't really wanted to go walking anyways, so swimming couldn't be that much worse.

'_Sure.'_

He rushed back into his dorm, and got ready to practice. Of course, while he changed he kept his eyes closed. For God's sake, he was a kid! And a shrimp for that matter. I liked tall guys with flaming red hair and spikes. . . toned muscles. . .slim hips. . .

Ahem! Anyways!

Sora opened his eyes and looked into the mirror. He spun around in a small circle in what appeared to be a Speedo, goggles, and . . . was that a swim cap?

'_Oh my god!'_ I gasped, laughing my ass off.

It was no ordinary swim cap. Of course Sora, with his gravity defying hair, wouldn't have a normal swim cap. Nope, this one was molded directly for his hair, for each of his spikes a place. It looked like he had a giant latex hair glove. Seriously, each spike had its very own black swim cap covered finger hole. . .Or hair hole I suppose. He looked ridiculous.

Sora glared at my mirror self, and then stuck his tongue out at me.

"Shut up, I like it."

'_It's, oh my god, it's a fucking hair condom!'_

* * *

Riku:

I was making my way back to my dorm when I was stopped by one of my many fan girls.

"Did you hear Riku!?" she shouted in the usual fan girl squeal.

Seriously, just because I was hot didn't mean that I couldn't hear.

"What?" I asked cautiously, just to be sure my question didn't induce more fan girl screaming.

"The swim meet has been re-dated!"

"What!?" I grabbed the school newspaper that she was waving in front of my face as evidence, and scanned the columns. Just as she said, the swim meet had been reassigned for three days from now, at our same Olympic pool. This. Was. AWESOME! It was just the opportunity that Axel and I needed for payback.

"_Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"_ I asked Axel in mind-speak.

'_Oh yeah.'_

Things were definitely looking up.

* * *

A/N: Yay! Another chapter! Sorry it took much longer then the others to post, but my weekend was packed! Please read and Review, because it makes me happy. And when I'm happy I write more. Um, the next two chapters will be posted simultaneously, because I remembered that I had to put something else in here. So they should both be posed on Wednesday

**Chapter Six-  
Dear Diary: I Think I've Lost My Mind**

The down-low of what really happened in Sora and Riku's past relationship! Find out next time!

**Chapter Seven-  
Dear Diary: Swimming Blows Chunks**

The long awaited swim rematch! What will happen when Axel and Roxas find who they are looking for? And what will Sora and Riku have to say about it? Find out next time!


	6. Dear Diary: I Think I've Lost My Mind

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested. And I don't own any rights to anything but this story.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

**Players:  
Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.  
**(Sub Characters: These characters will not normally have their own POV segments)  
Fuu**- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.  
**Hayner-** Sora's best friend and confidant. Also attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Is currently dating Selphie.  
**Selphie**- Hayner's girlfriend and a well known Riku fan-girl, who (unbeknownst to Riku) supplies Hayner and therefore Sora on Riku whereabouts and secrets. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Olette-** Selphie's best friend and confidant and they are only seen apart when Selphie is with Hayner. Because of this, she has also become a Riku undercover agent. She is very quick with math, and loves English. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.**  
Pence-** A computer genius, Pence has a major crush on Olette. Even though they attend different schools, Pence always finds a way to follow her around. Attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary.  
**Larxene- **Dean of SOB Institute, currently sleeping with Riku's dad.  
**Xemnas- **Riku's father and currently sleeping with Larxene. Loves terrorizing small things, and wants his son to be recognized as the best, no matter the cost.  
**Demyx- **Axel's best friend, boyfriend to Zexion. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Fights with a sitar shaped battle axe.  
**Zexion**- One of Axel/Roxas's friends, boyfriend to Demyx. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Is in charge of battle strategy.  
**Marluxia- **Another of Axel/Roxas's friend. Part of the Castle XIII Guard. Messenger, and fights with  
Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font  
_**This is thinking font**_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"_This is Riku mind-speaking font" ____ notice the TWO quotation marks._  
"This is everyone else speaking font"

**A/N:** First of all, I just have to say wow. You guys (meaning my readers and reviewers) Effin ROCK! Seriously, I offer you guys my squealing fan girlish soul. I love you all so very much!!

And I'm so sorry to Setsuna Kurosaki! If I missed your name I give my biggest apologies!! You are awesome for reviewing!

So, for being such awesome awesome people, all of my reviewers may request an oneshot of their choice, any genre any pairing, any game/anime/anything. This includes **L'ange D'air, LFO, Setsuna Kurosaki, Silver Shell, Spirit of Joy, What A Rubber Chicken, Drace-Hunter, Otaku Lady, Higuchimon, Olive Jay, **and** Twilight Fire Nobody. **

Because you guys are the greatest thing since sliced bread!

And for the story, here is the first chapter of the double header that goes on today. It is a bit fluffy at some points, and then some angst (which is to expected since we all know they broke up eventually) It should tie in all the rest of the details that might have been left open ended about why Sora and Riku hate each other so much.

Um, because someone requested there was a bit more detail put in on the character development I will try my best! In this chapter most of all there will be tons of Sora Riku thoughts about everything, and how they feel now. For all of you AkuRoku fan girls and guys out there REMEMBER! This is a double header day! So there will be AkuRoku to the MAX in the next chapter (Which will be posted later today.)

So, uh, hope you enjoy! Oh yeah! And the flashback portion is only Sora and Riku POV (duh) the hard part to follow is that the first half of this chapter will be from Sora's POV and then the next half being sort of the same event from Riku's POV.

Okay Enjoy!

**Chapter Six-**

**Dear Dairy: I Think I've Lost My Mind**

_Sora:_

I sat on my bed. It was two hours before the meet, and I was just, sitting. That's it. No pumping, no screaming, no speeches. Just, sitting. I don't know why this mach was any different then all of the others that I had participated in, but maybe it was because it was against Riku. You have no idea how hard it is to hate someone and love someone at the same time. . .

Yeah, I said it. That lame ass four letter word that means utter death if spoken out loud. Love.

I don't think I've ever really denied it, just. . . Shoved it way back in my mind and tried not to think about it. Ever. I mean, how can you get over love? It's a little stupid to say I think. But, when you're heart's broken I can see why you'd want to try. But if it was real love, then I don't think it would ever go away. Sucks doesn't it?

I should have known this was how it would turn out from the start. Riku was a jock, and I was. . . well a jock, but I was different I swear! I'm one of those happy go lucky prep type jocks that everyone knows and loves. Handsome and sweet and kind and did I mention fucking RIPPED!!

. . .Okay, so my muscles aren't that spectacular, but can you blame a guy? Anyways, I was the happy jock, and he's the full-of-himself jock. I will grudgingly admit that he's kind of hot, but that is besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that it was doomed. Polar opposites and all of that good stuff. Because, we all know, that opposites attract only in sappy love movies, or Mexican soap opera. Yeah, my mom used to watch those a lot.

In all actuality I had known him for the greater part of my life. Yeah, I hated him back then too. He was the one that poured coleslaw down my pants in the eighth grade, I think I mentioned that? Well, after that I was home schooled for three years, and when I came back, I guess he didn't recognize who I was.

Anyway, we met again, not surprisingly, at a high school swim meet. He was for one team, and I was for another, but we never swam against each other. Our team was disqualified because one swimmer was trying to win via jet propulsion. Yeah I know, when did that become against the rules? But, of course, Riku had taken first place in everything he had entered.

* * *

_**Flashback:**_

_**Sora:**_

I was sitting beside the pool and cursing the mere existence of anything water related when a shadow fell over my exposed body. No I wasn't a stripper, I was wearing a Speedo you freaks! I looked up through my brown, beautiful, spikes to see none other than Riku Toboshibi, direct from the swimming pool, and still dripping water. I felt a jolt of awareness slither through my body when my eyes fell out of their sockets. Not literally. Here was Riku, the guy that had made my middle school career hell, looking at me like I was some kind of slab of meet. And I have to admit I felt a sort of lust? For the silver haired male standing over me. But like I was going to give into that primal of an emotion!

"Can I help you?" I asked in a bored tone.

"Did it hurt?" He asked, ignoring my first question.

"When I punched you in the face for trying such a pathetic pick up line?"

He laughed, and my breath caught in my chest. Everyone always told me that my laugh sounded like sunshine after a light rain. His laugh though, sounded like twilight, its darkness harboring untold passions and secrets. I really found myself floundering in the depth of his eyes.

Whoa, was I getting a hard on?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and he offered me his hand. I took it and he anchored me up. Was I the only one noticing or was there small beads of water slowly making way down his chest? I gulped. Shit. . . I was getting a hard on. I pried my eyes away from his muscled chest as he held out his hand again. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I'm already standing."

He laughed again, though this time with a bit more criticism.

"It's for a handshake shortie."

I took offense, though to the pet-name or the fact that I had been embarrassed I would never know. But I shook his hand anyways, my cheeks a little red.

"Riku Tomoshibi."

"Sora Makokoro."

His eyebrows snapped up underneath his mass of silver hair. It looked so soft, and shiny, I wondered what it would feel like to run my fingers through it, to get my hands entangled in it's masses. . .

"Wow Sora, you got hot while you were at home schooling." He almost exclaimed while he looked me over appraisingly.

I blushed bright red and tried to come up with some sort of witty retort, but for once none came to my lips. He seemed to notice and smiled a smile that could only be classified as seductive. I squirmed where I stood; knowing that if this continued much longer the world would know just how much Riku's smile turned me on. I mean, come on now, a Speedo isn't really the best at concealing that type of things.

He looked around behind his back, and it would be a while before I understood why.

"Care to join me for some coffee?"

I didn't know why I accepted, but I did, and started walking towards the locker rooms to change.

"Oh, well, I was hoping you'd just stay in your Speedo, but if you want to get naked in the locker rooms that's cool with me too." He told me as he waggled his almost transparent eyebrows.

I threw my towel at him, and ordered him to stay outside, but he came in anyways. If it makes me sound dirty, then just forget I said it, but I was kind of thrilled to have him stand next to me, his eyes hot, staring at me while I changed. No one had ever paid me this kind of attention, and no one could say that I wasn't turned on by it. When I had slipped out of my Speedo, and hastily pulled on my boxer-briefs he smirked, and advanced towards me. I shivered a little, and retreated until I could no longer, my back pressed up against the cold lockers. He rested both of his hands on either side of my head, and we both knew at that moment that the attraction was mutual, if only because his hips were crushed into mine.

I knew that things were going to fast but I couldn't protest when he slanted his lips sensuously across mine, couldn't stop my hands from rubbing against his still slightly moist chest. We ground our hips together, and he made a sort of soft growling sound, that I felt with my hands against his chest. He bit my lip, and I shivered, making slight mewling sounds. Our tongues intertwined in my mouth in what would be appropriately called a sexual onslaught.

Needless to say, we didn't ever make it to the coffee shop.

From that day on, we were inseparable. Well, at least to a degree. He had never told his dad that he was gay, or bisexual I suppose since he said at one point he liked girls. And even the fact that we went to different schools wasn't an issue. He would pick me up after school every day and we'd go and eat something from one of the local food places, or catch an afternoon showing of a move that we both agreed on. After that, he would come over to my house, and we'd spend most of the night just talking about stuff. Or making love. My parents already knew I was gay, and they thought Riku was almost as wonderful as I did. On the other hand, his dad didn't even know that I existed, in even a friendly manner. To this day I've only seen the inside of his mansion-like house once, and only briefly at that.

"Riku?" I asked one night, while we cuddled on my bed.

"Yeah?" He answered sleepily, rubbing his fingers up and down my bare arms.

"Are you ashamed of me?"

At that moment I was as scared as I had ever been in my entire life, because he paused. That pause lasted for almost all eternity. I couldn't stand it. But then he moved, from lying beside me. He sat up, and dragged me along with him, till I was looking deep into his eyes.

"Sora, I could never be ashamed of you. You're. . . You're so perfect, and you make my life so much better. I couldn't imagine life without you. I just can't tell anyone yet, they wouldn't understand."

Was that, was that almost a declaration of love? For Riku, I wouldn't mind waiting. I felt my insides turn to butter, and I almost literally melted in his embrace. He pulled me close, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his mid-section. He tilted my head towards his own, and I parted my lips for him as he planted the softest and sweetest of all kisses on my upturned mouth.

"Riku, I love you." I whispered against his lips after we had pulled apart to catch our breath. And at that moment in time, I did.

It was at my senior prom that things started to go wrong. It was two weeks after my own declaration, and up till then, things had been better than perfect between us.

"You're stunning," he said to me, eyes traveling over my tuxed body. We were sitting in the back of a rented limo, driving to my school's campus. He himself was decked out in a strikingly handsome black suit and a gleaming silver tie that accented his hair.

"So are you," I whispered, blushing slightly from the compliment. He leaned over me, pinning me to the seat, and began gyrating our hips together. By the time that we made it to the school, he had me moaning in sweet torture, and I must say that I managed to pull out a few groans from his mouth as well. But, when we felt the car come to a stop we hastily tried to right our skewed clothing before the driver opened the door for us. Stepping out of the sleek limousine we began inside. We stood close, but not hand in hand.

See, my whole family knew that Riku was my boyfriend, and of course my friend Hayner, but that was it. Everyone else at school just thought that we were best friends or something. I'm sure a few people has suspicions, but no one had approached me about the subject.

When we arrived inside, Riku was swamped with girls dressed in sleek and sleazy outfits vying for his attention. He looked apologetically at me, and offered one of the girls to dance. I understood, it had been like this at every dance we had attended together. To keep up our "straight guy" façade we would have to dance with a few girls first. As he expertly twirled the unknown girl around the floor I went to the refreshment table. Of all things they had to be playing one of those fast, fuck me songs.

As much as I didn't want to feel this way, I did. Jealous. Wasn't he holding her just a little tighter then was needed? Was he nearly dry humping her?! Why did he have to laugh at her jokes, or smile at her that way? My eyes were trained on the two of them the entirety of the dance. When he had dropped my unknown competition off somewhere else, you could say I was a bit angry.

"Sora," he whispered in that soft seductive way of his, but I was having none of that.

"What?" I snapped harshly.

He looked taken aback, and scanned my face with his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong," I hissed under my breath, stabbing an accusing finger at him. "You just had your hands all over someone else's body when you were supposed to be here with me! You're _my_ date remember?"

"Sora," his eyes were pleading. "You know that we can't just dance here! People would notice. Don't you worry about your reputation too?"

"No I don't!" I cried. "All I care about is you, and me, and being an us. It hurts Riku when you're always flirting with other girls, and it makes me wonder how much you really care!"

My face was flushed with anger, and I don't know why I was getting so worked up, but I guess I had been holding in all these doubts for a while now. There is, after all, only so much a person can take of being the closet boyfriend.

"I do care!" He whispered back to me, equally upset, though for what I don't know.

"Then prove it to me!" I almost shouted. Thankfully, the song that was playing was upbeat and loud.

"Prove?" he said stunned, his eyes flashing with anger. "Fine!"

He grabbed me by the hand and before I knew what was going on he had dragged me out to the dance floor. When we had made it to the center of the floor, the D.J. put on, of course, a slow song. Riku wrapped his arms tightly around me, and began to move us around in a small circle. I was too stunned to do anything but let him lead. I was about to protest when the lights were dimmed to almost complete darkness save a few glowing candles on all the tables, and I was lost in the heat of his gaze. Our bodies were pressed flush up against each other, and with each step we were just getting closer. Like I always did when Riku was in such a close proximity to me, my mind began to get all hazy. All I could see was his face, and all that I felt were his hands, rubbing soothingly up and down my back, occasionally dipping into the back of my slacks and under my pressed jacket and shirt. The song was coming to the end, but I was so caught up in the moment, I would do anything just to hold him there for one more moment. I knew that we should separate before the lights were relit, though, so I began to do so, when a female voice split through the air.

"Riku??" There was an almost disbelief in that voice. I turned my head towards its owner when I was shoved painfully to the ground, cracking my head against the tiled flooring. I looked up in disbelief to find Riku's eyes not on me, but on a pretty red-haired girl on the arm of some large buff dude I recognized as the star quarterback for our football team.

"Kairi, I didn't know that you'd be here!" Riku said, flabbergasted.

"Riku what's going on?" The red-head asked again. I had no idea what was going on, and my head hurt really bad from hitting the floor. This was about the same time that my heart broke.

"Uh, oh, this fag was trying to cop a feel while the lights were low." Waving his hand vaguely towards me. But you're looking lovely this evening Kairi."

I Was Stunned. So stunned in fact that I couldn't even move from my spot lying sprawled on the floor. If I had been able to move, then maybe I could have been able to forgive him, but not after what I heard next.

The girl I guess who was named Kairi giggled in a purely feminine way, but for some reason, without any kind of flirt behind it. That was odd, any female around Riku usually turned into goo. . . Her mountain of a date was starting to growl in Riku's direction, and Kairi patted his arm affectionately. This behemoth was jealous? The pain in my head was worsening.

"Don't worry babe, Riku's my _ex _boyfriend, remember the one I told you about? We broke up like two months ago. Ha, don't even worry babe, it wasn't anything more then a couple one night stands. You're much better in bed anyways."

Two months ago. Riku and I had been dating secretly since the beginning of the school semester, in October. This was May. May. October. That was more then two months wasn't it? It. . . it was. I guess in pain my body found the will to move, and I flat out ran out of the stadium sized gym. I couldn't help the tears that fell down my face. Couldn't help the hurt that was blinding me, I just ran.

I guess he was faster then I was though, cause he grabbed my arm, and tried to pull me back. In a fit of rage, I swung my other arm around, and punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. It must have been pretty hard since he staggered back, and fell to the floor in confusion.

"Sora. . ." He whispered, as if he was in pain.

"Don't you ever say my name again!" I cried. "How could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me Riku but you've never even said it!"

"I never said that I loved you. . .?" He informed me almost silently.

But I never heard the question. All I heard was my heart breaking. "Oh, oh my. My mistake then. Next time when someone says they can't live without me I'll take it as hate then. You're nothing but a huge liar Riku! I never want to see your face again! I hope somewhere along the course of the night that girl's date kills you!"

I was outright sobbing at that point, so I turned around and fled, hoping that I would go home and close my eyes, and when I woke up, it would all be better. Little did I know, it was only about to get worse.

Yeah, I said it, worse. It was graduation day, and I had managed to ignore Riku entirely. No phone calls, no notes, no seeing of him in any way shape or form. It had taken a lot of tears, and heartbreak, but I had managed to completely wipe Riku Tomoshibi from my life. I still loved him, yeah, but I would never look at him again.

And yet here I was, sitting in the front row in my cap and gown, waiting to be called on to come up to stage when none other then the devil himself walks up to the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention?" He asked, in that seductive voice of his that just came naturally. I damned myself to hell and back when my heart fluttered inside my chest at the sound of his voice, the sight of his face. I damned myself for not being able to get over him. And then he made it so much easier.

"I'd like to inform you that the one you have all chosen to be your class valedictorian, none other than Sora Makokoro, is gay."

* * *

_Sora:_

Till this day I don't know why he did it, I can't imagine someone wanting to cause me so much pain. But he did, and here I am, sitting on my bed, only ten minutes till the meet, still loving him. Dear God, am I some kind of fool or what? I grabbed my swim gear and headed out the door. I would not be a fool, I would not be beat by that _jerk. _Today I would win, and put the past behind me.

* * *

_Riku:_

I stripped out of my pants, beginning to change into my swim gear, when it hit me all of a sudden. Sora's face. I don't know why I keep thinking about him recently, but I did. In a place that I had completely pushed to the back of my mind, I wanted things to go back to the way they were, but I knew that they never could, not after what I had done. . . Sora. . .

God, at one point in my life he was my earth and sky, or whatever those stupid romance novels say. He was just so, beautiful, in everything that he did. His eyes, his smile, and just the way that he did everything in life. He was such a relief from all the pressure and working and boredom that was my life before him.

Before Sora, I was just kind of an unfeeling robot. . .

When I saw him sitting on the side of the pool that day, I had known exactly who he was, and how much I had hated him before, but I couldn't stop myself from walking over to him. His body in that skimpy Speedo was alone more then I could resist. In the three short years he had gone from pudgy middle school kid, to a toned, tall, and sleek. . .man god? When he smiled at me that very first time, I knew that I had to have him, in any way that I could.

When we walked into the locker rooms, I told myself that I should take it slow, but there's only so much will power a guy can have when the embodiment of perfection was standing naked in front of you! We went to fast, but it felt so good, so much better then anyone else I had been with. There was something more with Sora then just pure animal lust, there were actual, feelings I guess.

In the weeks to follow I just couldn't get enough of the brunette. He was always so happy to see me, and not because I was hot, but because. . . Well because he liked me for who I was as a person. He didn't care about my money, or anything else, he just cared about me. And the only thing that he asked in return was that I love him. Of course I love him, who couldn't? He's. . . He's just. . . Sora.

But I was scared, I was so scared that it would just be some fleeting dream, and so I never admitted my feelings to him. I was so scared that this happiness would go away, that somehow I found myself screwing it up. I don't know why I did it, but a few months into the relationship that I had been searching for my whole life, I was in bed with someone else. A pretty girl named Kairi, who attended my school. I regretted it instantly, but. . . I just kept going back. I knew that one day Sora would leave me, I just knew it, so I could never stay true to him. . . I could never. . . No, that's a load of crap. I was just some stupid kid who was afraid of commitment, because I didn't want to get hurt. Funny how that works huh?

But when Sora had lain in bed, in my arms, and asked me if I was ashamed of him, I knew that the thing with Kairi had just been a big mistake, all of the doubting I had done, was for nothing. When he uttered those three words "I love you" I felt a joy unsurpassed by. . . well, anything! There was nothing in my life better then what I had with Sora, and there would never be. So I put the Kairi thing behind me, and vowed to be everything that Sora wanted in a boyfriend. Unfortunately, I was faced with my own "Coming out of the closet" I loved him, I loved him so much I ached sometimes, but I just couldn't take on all of my friends and family yet, I just wasn't strong enough. I had Sora, yeah, but. . . again I was scared.

I guess after that, God was just punishing me for being such a pussy. Did he think I didn't deserve Sora, because I couldn't give him all the love that he deserved? Well God was right.

When Kairi showed up at the prom, the first thing I thought about was myself, and I shoved Sora to the ground. I had never in a million years thought that they would meet each other. Never. And here the world was crashing down around me. When I was damned by Kairi's flapping lips, and Sora bolted, I chased after him, and caught him. When he turned, and I saw all the tears running down his face, I felt like a fool. And the worst person in the whole world. I wasn't even angry when he punched me, because I felt that I deserved it.

"Sora. . ." I didn't know what to say to make it better. But I had to try! I couldn't lose him. . . I loved him. I loved him so much that I would do anything for him! Anything!

My heart was breaking at looking at his tears, and I wanted nothing more then to take him into my arms and make this all go away.

"Don't you ever say my name again!" He cried. "How could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me Riku but you've never even said it!"

"I never said that I loved you. . .?" I was stunned. I had never said the words to the man I loved with all of my being? I must have! I must have somewhere. . .right?

But he must have misunderstood me because in the next moment he was screaming at me.

"Oh, oh my. My mistake then. Next time when someone says they can't live without me I'll take it as hate then. You're nothing but a huge liar Riku! I never want to see your face again! I hope somewhere along the course of the night that girl's date kills you!"

He turned around and ran, and I was too shocked to move. I felt tears, tears that I hadn't cried since my mother left, falling down my face.

"But Sora. . . I do love you."

When he ran away I felt hurt and betrayed. How could he just walk away like that? Didn't I mean anything to him? I knew that I had screwed up but I thought at least he'd give me some explaination, or a second chance. Wasn't I worth more then just abandonment?

And from there, things just got worse.

I guess Kairi had a bigger mouth than all the football players claimed, because the nest thing I knew I was being summoned into my dad's study. Fro one thing, I was scared out of my mind, along with being clinically depressed. It had been a few days since the stupid prom night, and nothing seemed to be getting better.

"You can't be gay."

Leave it to my dad to get right to the point. The statement itself was simple enough, but I knew better. If I tried in any way shape or form to convince my dad that being gay was a good thing, he'd have me disowned. Or worse. So I had to strike up a pose, and a cock grin, even though I was dying inside.

"Awe come-on dad, that was just some girl that I'd fucked and ran, trying to get the better of me."

He seemed to relax a little, but not completely.

"I want proof."

And now he had all the proof in the world. Yeah, I hated myself for publicly humiliating Sora like that at his graduation, but I really didn't have a choice. . .Or maybe I did, but it's too late now.

I pulled on my Speedo, and grabbed the rest of my swim gear. That was all in the past, and I was a new man now. Sora was different too. Today, I would finally prove to myself, and to the world that I was over Sora Makokoro by beating him into the ground. It wasn't healthy, this current obsession that I only admitted to myself in the dark recesses.

'_Good luck,' _ whispered Axel in my head.

Yeah. . . I was going to need it.

* * *

A/N: Woo. . . Drama. My goodness.

Enjoy next chapter! Again, it will be posted later today in california time! Yay!

**Dear Diary: Swimming Blows Chunks.**

THE MATCH! Dun dun da! Axel and Roxas MEET! What will happen!??


	7. Dear Diary: Swimming Blows Chunks

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested. And I don't own any rights to anything but this story.

**Time:** Why not today?

**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

**Players:  
Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.  
**(Sub Characters: These characters will not normally have their own POV segments)  
Fuu**- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.  
**Hayner-** Sora's best friend and confidant. Also attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Is currently dating Selphie.  
**Selphie**- Hayner's girlfriend and a well known Riku fan-girl, who (unbeknownst to Riku) supplies Hayner and therefore Sora on Riku whereabouts and secrets. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Olette-** Selphie's best friend and confidant and they are only seen apart when Selphie is with Hayner. Because of this, she has also become a Riku undercover agent. She is very quick with math, and loves English. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.**  
Pence-** A computer genius, Pence has a major crush on Olette. Even though they attend different schools, Pence always finds a way to follow her around. Attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary.  
**Larxene- **Dean of SOB Institute, currently sleeping with Riku's dad.  
**Xemnas- **Riku's father and currently sleeping with Larxene. Loves terrorizing small things, and wants his son to be recognized as the best, no matter the cost.  
**Demyx- **Axel's best friend, boyfriend to Zexion. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Fights with a sitar shaped battle axe.  
**Zexion**- One of Axel/Roxas's friends, boyfriend to Demyx. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Is in charge of battle strategy.  
**Marluxia- **Another of Axel/Roxas's friend. Part of the Castle XIII Guard. Messenger, and fights with

Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font  
_**This is thinking font**_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"_This is Riku mind-speaking font" ____ notice the TWO quotation marks._  
"This is everyone else speaking font"

* * *

A/N: Here goes chapter two of double hitter Friday!!

It's totally the one you've all been waiting for!! .

This is dedicated to all of the awesome awesome readers and reviewers. Y**OU GUYS ROCK!!**

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Seven-**

**Dear Diary: Swimming Blows Chunks**

_Riku:_

'_Swim cap?'_

"Check."

'_Goggles?'_

"Check."

'_Floaties?'_

"Fuck you."

'_He-he sorry. Sharpie?'_

"Check."

'_Super Glue?'_

"Check."

'_We're good to go.'_

"Phase One: Trench-Coat-Over-Man-Hole-For-Pretty-Lady! TEEN TITANS GO!"

'_You're a loser.'_

"Shut-up, the Teen Titans rock."

* * *

_Sora:_

'_You'll do fine.'_

I walked out, my feet cold against the damn concrete around the swimming pool. There were tons of people in the stands already, but I didn't really pay them any mind. Everyone was cheering and booing for some reason or another, one of the other events I guess. I did feel kind of bad that everyone else that had competed last time had to again, but no one had thought it was fair to only throw the results of one match. Actually, the winners hadn't cared. Stupid loser pansy asses.

'_You'll do fine.'_

"I hope so."

Yeah, this was no time to be having regrets, but there they were, rearing their ugly head. How come all the bad emotions can't at least be beautiful? Maybe they were only bad because they didn't like the way that everyone treated them. I wonder if Rage would go away if I just handed him a basket full of muffins. Blueberry muffins even. Everyone likes blueberry muffins.

'_You'll do fine.'_

I guess I'm a little slow, but I finally noticed that Roxas was repeating himself.

"You okay?"

He paused for a moment, and I became slightly alarmed. I mean, I was already all worked up with pre-competition jitters.

'_Something just feels a little off. . .'_

"Dude, don't freak me out like this, I'm already all crazy."

'_Heh, crazy. Yeah. But, you'll do fine.'_

"I hope so."

'_You will.'_

For some reason, it felt like there was something more riding on the outcome of this swim meet then just some trophy. Hah, who was I kidding? Winning was everything. I was just listening too much to Roxas. I just needed to calm down and kick Riku's stupid lying cheating retarded ass. Yeah!

I moved towards the warm-up pool, about half a length shorter then the Olympic. There were already a few competitors slicing through the water, gearing up for their own participation in the meet. I thought it would be a good idea to go a few laps, just to get used to the water temperature, and get my muscles to optimum potential. What!? I have muscles damn it!

There was an unoccupied small bench, so I set my towel and goggles upon it. I always warmed up with the backstroke, so I didn't need my goggles. I looked towards the sun, which wasn't one of my brightest ideas and wondered if I should wear the goggles anyways. They were polarized, so the black plastic would keep me from going blind, but I didn't really like the way they felt when I wasn't face down in the water. Nah, better to leave them here. I then stared down at what Roxas had dubbed the "hair condom" and weighed my options. I already hated the thing, did I really need it for just warm up?

'_Please, for me, don't freaking wear that thing.'_

Hm. Roxas may have a point. I set my swim cap on top of everything else and moved to the pool. I did a quick diving entrance into an unused lane and flipped over, starting my laps, using the lane lines as my guides. The water felt cool, but refreshing against my skin. It was nice. Now that I was in the water I felt fine, all of my nervousness gone. This was where I belonged, there was no way that I would lose to Riku now.

* * *

_Riku:_

"_Dun na na!! Dun dun dun" _

'_You are not Tom Cruise.'_

"_Doesn't mean I can't play the theme song!"_

'_Huh. . . I didn't know someone could get even more retarded.'_

"_Be quiet."_

'_. . .'_

I sneaked, with my ninja skills, over to where Sora had deposited his swim gear. My plan was brilliant. BRILLIANT! Actually it was Axel's plan, but since it's my body I think I'll just take credit for it. Checking to the left and right, to make sure that no one was looking, I grabbed Sora's swim cap and goggles.

'_Okay! Phase one complete!'_

"_Phase Two: Strip-The Donkey-Of-It's-Garter! POWER RANGERS TRI-FORCE GO!"_

'_Seriously man, you need a life.'_

"_Be quiet!"_

Despite Axel's criticism I still thought that Zack was the best Power Ranger in existence. But, there were other things to accomplish today. I grabbed Sora's swim cap, and took out the small tube of Super Glue that I had stashed in my man purse. Hell yeah I had a man purse. It's where I carried my condoms at swim practice. You never know when you're going to need one!

. . . Don't look at me like that.

I opened the glue and squirted a generous amount inside Sora's strangely created swim cap. I couldn't wait to see him try and take it off of his head. It would be one of those priceless Kodak moments.

'_Hurry, I think someone's coming!'_

I dropped the swim cap back onto Sora's pile of swim gear and tried to look as inconspicuous as I possibly could. I think I might have even whistled. That may or may not have been a little much, but I guess it didn't matter. It was only a female teacher, and she just smiled at me as she passed by. She must have been from Sora's school because I didn't recognize her. Oh well. I waited until she was out of view before rummaging through Sora's pile again, looking for his goggles. Like I said, this plan was BRILLIANT!

I finally found the darkened goggles and took out the black sharpie that Axel had reminded me to bring. This would be the sure fire way that Sora wouldn't win. After all, who could win when they couldn't see? I opened the cap of the Sharpie and began coloring in the front lenses of the goggles, with a maniacal smile on my face. This would be great. This would be priceless.

* * *

_Sora:_

I had just completed a flip-turn when I spotted Riku standing by my stuff through the corner of my eye. And I knew, I just knew, that he wasn't just standing there to wish me good luck.

'_I think he's doing something to your stuff.'_

I managed to make it to the side of the pool without that ugly rage exploding my face off. I knew I should have sent him blueberry muffins. It would have made it so much better! I staggered a little when I lifted myself out of the water, and onto the concrete.

"Riku! What are you doing!?"

I ran at him when I saw him moving a Sharpie back and forth across my goggles. There was no good intention behind that at all. I reached his side in a manage of moments, and tried to grab my goggles. Instead I latched onto his wrist, and suddenly everything went to hell.

* * *

_Axel: _

Roxas. Roxas. Roxas. I could feel him. He was here. He was here somewhere, and he was touching me. There was an indescribable joy and excitement that rushed throughout my body. He was here. After so many years we had finally found him. A love so fierce coursed through my very soul. We were here, we were together, this was perfection.

'_Riku! Riku it's him! It's Roxas!'_

* * *

_Sora: _

Suddenly, I was lost in his eyes, Riku's eyes. They had held me captive so many times before. I didn't know what to do. All I wanted was to lean forward and press my lips to his. All of this emotion could not possibly be just mine. I felt a love that held too much ferocity to be my own. Is this the love that Roxas felt for Axel? Did that mean that Riku was. . . Axel? As I stared at Riku's own emerald green eyes, they shifted to become

Deeper, a more ardent green, filled with intense passion. Those were not Riku's eyes. What was going on?

"Riku. . ." I whispered, and felt my heart clench as his arms closed around me.

I pressed my head to his chest and listened to his heart beat. I loved him, I truly loved him. All I wanted down was to disappear with him somewhere and explain everything, to make everything right. I wanted him to love me again.

* * *

_Roxas: _

The moment Sora's hand touched Riku's I knew. I _knew _it was him. To be honest I was speechless, and motionless. I had never really thought in a million years that I would really find him. But he was here, and he was holding me, or rather Riku was holding Sora. Was this real, was I dreaming? In the two centuries I had been a parasite to a host's mind, I had never been able to dream, but this was too good to be real wasn't it. My emotions were running rampant and mingling with Sora's own emotions for Riku. I didn't know which were mine and which were his, all I knew is that I loved him, and I had finally found him. I wanted so badly to take control of Sora's body but I had promised, I had promised with my very soul. So I did the only thing I could, I begged.

'_Sora, please, it's Axel! I know it is, please, for me, kiss him, please. I need him.'_

* * *

_Axel:_

I was in a state of disbelief. I couldn't imagine that this was really happening. And above all of that, I couldn't believe the strong emotions that Riku himself was feeling for the one he had always told me he hated. It was strong enough to rival my own feelings for Roxas. I knew with utmost certainty that they were meant to be together, this Sora and Riku. No one could feel so many jumbled emotions without being in love. True love.

Roxas. Roxas. Roxas.

I still couldn't believe he was here. And the only thing keeping me from him was a kiss.

Kiss him Riku, I urged silently. Please, for me, kiss him.

* * *

_Riku: _

I heard Axel, and felt Sora at the same time. He was here, and he was touching me. Sora? Or Roxas? What were all of these foreign feelings, dredged from the past. I no longer felt this burning need and passion for him did I? Were these my own emotions, or was this what Axel felt for Roxas. Either way I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around the small brunette. This was what I had secretly wished for in the dark of the night, when it didn't matter if I kept secrets from myself. I wanted him back. I wanted this love, whether it was my own feeling or Axels. I wanted to feel this again. For a moment I felt alive. Besides, how did Axel even know that this was Roxas? I couldn't imagine that Sora would put up with anyone using him, or rather, anyone else putting up with the incorrigible twerp.

All I really knew was that this is what I wanted. I wanted Sora in my arms, I wanted to love him again. I wanted to take him away somewhere and kiss away all of the bad memories, all of the past mistakes we had made. I wanted him to be mine again.

As I looked down at the brunette in my arms, his hair color started to change from a chocolate brown to bleached blonde. Was this Roxas? It was then that I began to believe Axel. But I wasn't doing this for just Axel was I? Even though I knew that the love running rampant through my veins was not only mine, but our intensities were the same. I loved Sora, and there was just nothing else.

My fingers stroked the soft skin of his cheeks, and I knew, I knew that beyond anything else, I wanted to kiss him.

"Sora, please, let me kiss you."

* * *

_Sora:_

I heard Roxas's plea and I realized that there was nothing more I wanted to do then to kiss Riku. I wanted to feel our hearts meld in a way that only a kiss could provide. I wanted to hold him in my arms like this and never let him go. Riku tilted my head towards him, and I knew that this is what I wanted. I wanted. . .

**But he hurt you. . .**

He. . .Riku. It crashed back, ruining my sense of reality. He had hurt me. He had cheated. He had lied. Wasn't that what this competition was all about? To prove to him that he didn't haunt my dreams every night anymore? To prove that I didn't need him? This emotion was too fierce to be mine, too strong to be my own. Roxas. . . are you using me? Are you breaking the promise you had sworn to keep?

I didn't know what to think anymore. I was torn between a love at an almost violent degree, and a hate to match it. How could I ever forget the pain? How could I ever forgive him for what he had done? And even if I did. . . I would never be able to trust him with my heart again.

"I can't." And whether I was saying it to Roxas, or to Riku, I didn't know.

* * *

_Axel:_

My heart broke, and I felt it along with the turbulent pain of Riku's own heart. Why were they doing this? Why couldn't they just forgive and forget. It was obvious that they loved each other with the passion unrivaled by a thousand suns, or whatever. Why? He was here, Roxas was here, with me, and now I could never have him? I could never love him again?

I just couldn't understand it. . . Roxas. . .

* * *

_Roxas:_

I was filled with such dread, such pain, and such absolute rage. I was almost violent with this brutal rage. How could he think that he had any right to do such a thing? Any right?!

'_What do you mean you can't? Quick being such a dick and kiss him already! Sora, I thought we were friends, and you said you would help!'_

"I can't," he said again.

'_. . .I see. So you really don't care do you? You don't care about anyone but yourself. And you don't even get it do you? The guy you love is standing in front of you asking you to kiss him, and you're just pushing him away, just like before. Yeah, I know about before. You just keep pushing, and pushing, and then get mad when no one tries again. Well fuck, I'm through then. I've been looking for Axel for longer then anyone in your family has even existed, and you're denying me this because you can't get over the fact that he might hurt you again. Boo freakin' ho. Of course everyone's going to hurt you if you just push them away. But you know what, fine. Be a fucking selfish child, I'm leaving.'_

"Roxas you don't understand!"

'_I don't understand?! ME?! No listen here kid, YOU don't understand. You don't know what it's like to be stuck in someone else's body, thinking about how all of your friends are long dead, about you have no one else except one person, and you don't even know if you'll ever be able to find them. You have no idea what's it's like to be this alone, and having your one chance ripped away from you by someone who's too worried about their own stuff to give a shit. You don't understand Sora, and how could you? It's obvious that you just don't care. Fine Sora, you don't want me here, then I'm gone!'_

* * *

_Riku:_

In reality I felt more shock then anything else. He was. . . rejecting me? Why? Because of the past? Didn't he know that he had hurt me too? Didn't he know that I had actually spilled tears over him, and now he was rejecting me? I was flabbergasted, and my arms fell to my sides in shock. I took a step back as he had his internal war that I recognized as much like the ones I had fought with Axel.

I still didn't understand. Why had he stopped me? Didn't he feel these extreme feelings that I felt? Did. . . was he even feeling anything at all?

"Why?" I asked, still so confused.

Sora looked at me with the severest look I had ever seen.

"Why!? You don't know why? Because I could never forgive you for what you've done!"

So that was it, that was his excuse this time. Maybe he really didn't feel anything.

"What I've done huh? Well then fine, forget it Sora, just go and forget this ever happened. I'll see you at the pool."

"The pool?! You're going to just walk away huh? You hurt me Riku!"

"Me walk away? You're talking about ME walking away? You're the one that ran away before I had any chance to explain myself! If anyone hurt anybody it was you hurting me!"

"Hurt you? You humiliated me Riku! You lied, and cheated, and humiliated me! You hurt me!"

"No you hurt me!! You wouldn't even give me a chance!"

"I would have given you a chance if you hadn't lied and slept with some bimbo bitch behind my back!"

"You don't get it Sora! That wasn't it at all, I loved you!"

* * *

_Sora:_

This was all just a bad dream, and when I woke up, it would all go away. But somehow, I just knew that it wouldn't. My insides felt numb, and empty. Roxas had said he was leaving, was he really gone? It felt like it. And here Riku was accusing me of not understanding? He was trying to act the victim? Didn't he know _anything!? _

"You loved me!?"

I laughed, and it was a cruel and hollow sound. He loved me. Yeah. What a malicious thing to say. How could he even joke about that? I had done everything to get him to love me and now he throws it in my face?

First Roxas, and now Riku, didn't anyone understand? Didn't anyone get that I was hurting too?

"I hate you Riku!" I screamed, and pushed Riku into the choppy waters of the warm up pool.

* * *

A/N:

Uh. Read, Review, please? Sorry it was a day late, my computer is being bitchy. And I know it was short. Forgive me.

Next chapter will be fluffy and good.

**Dear Diary: I Think I've Found **_**The One**_  
Fluff to the MAX. The Resolution.


	8. Dear Diary: I Think I've Found The One

**The Holy Smirk.**  
By Zess

**Summery:** Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

**Other Stuff:** Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested. And I don't own any rights to anything but this story.

**Time:** Why not today?  
**Place:** South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

**Players:  
Sora**- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.  
**Riku**- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.  
**Axel- **demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.  
**Roxas- **sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.  
---**  
Fuu**- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.  
**Hayner-** Sora's best friend and confidant. Also attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Is currently dating Selphie.  
**Selphie**- Hayner's girlfriend and a well known Riku fan-girl, who (unbeknownst to Riku) supplies Hayner and therefore Sora on Riku whereabouts and secrets. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Olette-** Selphie's best friend and confidant and they are only seen apart when Selphie is with Hayner. Because of this, she has also become a Riku undercover agent. She is very quick with math, and loves English. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.  
**Pence-** A computer genius, Pence has a major crush on Olette. Even though they attend different schools, Pence always finds a way to follow her around. Attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary.  
**Larxene- **Dean of SOB Institute, currently sleeping with Riku's dad.  
**Xemnas- **Riku's father and currently sleeping with Larxene. Loves terrorizing small things, and wants his son to be recognized as the best, no matter the cost.  
**---  
Demyx- **Axel's best friend, boyfriend to Zexion. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squads. Fights with a sitar shaped battle axe.  
**Zexion**- One of Axel/Roxas's friends, boyfriend to Demyx. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squads. Is in charge of battle strategy.  
**Marluxia- **Another of Axel/Roxas's friend. Part of the Castle XIII Guard. Messenger.  
**Saïx- **Captain of the Castle XIII Guard Defense squad. Fights with an odd shaped tri-sword.  
**Xigbar- **Captain of the Castle XIII Guard Offense squad Fights with a sniper sword.  
**Xaldin- **Captain of the Castle XIII Guard Recovery squad. Fights with multiple lances  
**Luxord- **Chief Commander of the Castle XIII Guard. Controls Time.

NO MORE CHARACTERS EVER!

This is normal font  
_**This is thinking font**_  
'_This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'_  
"_This is Riku mind-speaking font" ____ notice the TWO quotation marks._  
"This is everyone else speaking font"

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so I'm going to give huge awesome bonus points to all of my reviewers of chapter 6/7 because I didn't do it last chapter. This chapter is dedicated to you guys!

**Iamsosmart,  
Problems Beyond Issues,  
Setsuna Kurosaki,  
L'ange D'air,  
LFO,  
-X-Taylor-X-,  
Chaos Harbor,  
KogaLover38,  
Neferet10210,  
Synnesei.**

You guys rock, along with all my other readers and reviewers!! Don't forget; feel free to ask for a one shot of any kind!

As for this chapter. . . It's happy! Yay! For the past two chapters it's been all angst ridden and dramatic. This will have that too but then . . . well you'll see!! The format is the same is always, so nothing new or spectacular there. More people added to the character list, which should be a big spoiler XD.

Hm, lots of AkuRoku in this chapter, because this story is really all about them, so woot!

Uh, also, the reason this took me so long to update is because instead of three more short VERY chapters, I've combined everything into one very awesome long chapter. So this is it folks. I hope that this chapter answers any or all questions that you might have had throughout the story. Please enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter Eight-**

**Dear Diary: I Think I've Found The One**

_Sora:_

"Roxas?"

I called for him for what must have been the twentieth time, but once more there was no reply. He had had silent spells before, but this was . . . different. I couldn't feel him; that slight tingling in the back of my mind telling me that he was there. That, reassuring warmth that had become a part of me. Had he really left? I just couldn't believe it.

'_You have no idea what's it's like to be this alone, and having your one chance ripped away from you by someone who's too worried about their own stuff to give a shit.'_

"But I do care . . . you just don't understand. . ."

I sighed. I don't really know who or what I was talking to. Maybe I was just talking to convince myself that Roxas was still here, and was just pouting somewhere in the back of my mind.

'_Be a fucking selfish child, I'm leaving.'_

Is that what I really am? Just a selfish child? Have I been just fooling myself this whole time?

"_Sora, please, let me kiss you."_

Shivers erupted all over my body at just the memory of his hot eyes and his soft touch. When I looked into his eyes at that moment, he wasn't some cheater to me. He wasn't a liar or someone to hate, he was the guy who . . . had my heart?

"Gah!" I cried out and collapsed onto my bed, holding my head in my hands. Why does love have to be so complicated? I want nothing more then to go about my life as a normal kid, and never have to feel this gut wrenching pain ever again. I love him, I accept that now, but that doesn't mean I have to like him!

He may. . . Riku may have the ability to turn me into Jell-o with just one look but that doesn't mean I'll ever be able to forgive him. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the pain that he caused me. Why did this have to happen? I was going along just fine before without all of these stupid emotions confusing me all the time. . .

"Com'on Roxas, stop playing games," I muttered, wanting to talk to somebody, anybody other then to think these thoughts. But Roxas wasn't here, or he wasn't answering, and all I could do was think.

No. No. . . . I can't keep lying to myself this way. I'm not happy with the way things are. I want to have someone to love, and I want someone to love me, and I want that someone to be Riku, but how? I'll never be able to get over what he did. . .

I really didn't give him a chance did I? Was that what Roxas meant? Was I really the one to blame?

No! He was the one that cheated; he was the one that lied to me! All I did was love him!

But. . . Did I really? Was that all I did? That night at the gym I had never really given him the chance to explain, I hadn't really wanted him to. If he explained it all away, that would mean that I would have to unwrap myself from my security blanket and maybe, actually try and love someone for real. I would have to trust someone else, and put my heart on the line.

Had I really loved him as completely as I said? No, I don't think I had. I mean, my heart had loved him completely, but I had never put any faith in him. I had always kept that opinion of middle-school Riku, who was always just going to torment me and use me in some way.

But it happened, so why am I not justified?!

Maybe. . . Maybe if I had trusted him more, and told him how I felt more often things would have gone the right way. Had he thought that I wasn't really into the relationship? I had always been worried about how he thought about me that I had never really given consideration on how he was feeling.

Was this all just some horrible mistake?

If it was, then these past years alone have all been for nothing. If it was, then I. . . Then I. . . Then I can love Riku again. I jumped off my bed and pulled on some clothes, not really caring which. I grabbed my keys off of my dresser and paused before exiting the room.

"Roxas?" But still there was no answer. Maybe, maybe when I saw Riku he'd come back from where-ever inside my mind he is, and talk to me again. I wasn't going to apologize to him. Not yet. First I needed answers, from Riku. I need to know what really happened that night at the dance, or I'm never going to be able to move on with my life.

Riku. . .Some insane part of me just wanted all of this to end.

* * *

_Roxas:_

Dear Mental Diary, I think this is the end for me. Am I a quitter for not being able to live life this way anymore? Please don't think that about me. All I want is to love, and to live my life with the one I love. Since I can no longer have the one I love, there really isn't a reason for me to live. Axel. . . Please forgive me for just giving up, but I can't go on knowing we were . . . we were so close, and you're gone from me again. I just can' handle losing you twice. I really hope that you understand. I want nothing more then to see your face again, to be in your arms again, but it's just not going to happen, and I have to accept that. Maybe one day, we'll find each other somewhere new, and we can start all over again. If that happens, I hope you'll remember me, and I hope you'll love me the same way that I love you now. I became somebody through loving you, a real person, and now that you're gone for good, what reason do I have to stay?

I can't really hold on to this pitiful existence anymore. I look through his eyes, and it's so beautiful it makes me want to cry, but then I realize that it will never be within my grasp. All I can do is sit and look through some one else's eyes and I'll never be whole again. I am not a quitter, but I refuse to be some ghost anymore. I have loved, as few people will ever love, and I have lost. For me, it's better to remember the good things, and just let go.

I'm sorry Axel, but. . . Goodbye.

* * *

_Axel:_

Roxas. Roxas was gone? He was just here; he was! Where is Roxas? Why . . . why aren't we together now? Wasn't, wasn't that the deal? He was here and I was here and we kissed, so we should be together now right? Right!? No, it's not right, because we never kissed. I felt him in my arms, I _felt _him. I was alive for a few moments, and then it was ripped from me. Why? Why, why, why?!

'_You asshole! Why didn't you kiss him!?'_ I shouted to Riku. He had been here, Roxas had been here, and now he was gone!

I could contain my rage no longer. I was fed up with life, fed up with the world always working against me. And whether or not it was actually Riku's fault, I would blame him, because I needed a scapegoat, I needed someone to pin this on. So once more I plugged into his mind, and electrified for all that I was worth.

He howled in pain, but didn't double over. I felt all of his muscles tighten. He was digging bloody holes into his palms because his hands were clenched so.

"I've told you I couldn't just kiss him!" He retorted through gritted teeth.

And I guess I wasn't the only one that had had enough of this mess, because in the next moment he was pummeling himself in the stomach, hard. Since I was plugged into his nerves I felt its full force and if I had breath it would have been knocked out of me.

'_You __**could**__ have just kissed him! There's no law anywhere that says stealing a kiss is illegal!'_ I shouted back at him. My mind was getting cloudy in a mix of anger and pain. I was not about to give up so easy. I wasn't about to let anyone get away with this.

BUZZ!

"Like I give a shit about the law. You don't understand he hates me!"

SLAM!

'_I wouldn't care if he thought you were the worst person on the face of this planet, it was. . . It was Roxas. Roxas.'_

His face flashed into my mind harsh and unforgiving. His blonde spikes were blowing slightly in the wind, his beautiful lips hidden behind his hand, his eyes crinkled at the sides as he smiled in that mysterious way of his. Those eyes had held me captive so many times before, had burned with passion and love. Would I never be able to see those eyes again?

"_Roxas. . ."_ I whispered harshly. _'ROXAS!'_

* * *

_Riku:_

I collapsed onto my dorm room floor, and covered my face with my hands. Teardrops made there way through my slightly parted fingers. If I could say they were not my own I would, but that was not the case. Perhaps some of the fat teardrops were Axels, but I could not be sure. My limbs hurt, my nerves shot, and my head was pounding, but none of it compared to the ache in my chest. I could hear Axel's own sobs echoing inside my mind, as I cried.

"Do you, do you think you're the only one that's hurting?" I managed. "Do you think you're the only one who wishes with every single cell in their body that things had turned out different? Well your not! Sora. . . Sora's always been the one I've loved, no matter what I've done or said, it's always been him. But no matter what I do now, he'll never forgive me for the past. He never even gave me a chance. . ."

There was nothing really more to say, and the air was only filled with our sobs as they died down to hiccups, and then soft sniffles. I have no idea how Axel could cry, or what he had to sniffle, but perhaps crying isn't just to action, and maybe his pain was just that great.

I grabbed a nearby dirty shirt and dried my face on it. Lying on the floor, I cuddled into the carpet, as if it could give me some sort of comfort.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, and I meant it. "I'd do anything I could to kiss Sora, I really would, but I don't ever think I could force that on him. My heart just . . . just wouldn't let me. I know it will never happen in a million years but, in my dreams, I want it to be because he wants to, not because I've surprised him or whatever."

As the old shag carpeting tickled my nose I gave a cold, emotionless smile.

"Love sucks."

* * *

_Axel:_

I gave a long drawn out sigh.

'_Yeah.'_

I wasn't really mad at Riku, because he was going through the same thing I was, if not quite the same circumstances. He just wanted to be with Sora, and to love him. I could understand that. What I couldn't understand was why the couple was apart? I had seen them both together yesterday, the way they had both responded to each other's touch. It didn't seem like unrequited love to me.

'_Why, why aren't you guys together?'_

He laughed humorlessly, and I stared up at the stucco ceiling as he rolled onto his back.

"I cheated on him."

I nodded, in my own ghostly way, and sighed again. Just because I wasn't mad at Riku didn't mean it felt like my heart was breaking any less. I still had this horrible pain in the place where my chest would be. It really felt like the world was crumbling around me, but I wasn't going to give up. Not after being so close. Roxas. . .

'_I know that,' _I replied. _'But why aren't you guys together now?'_

He sighed, and closed his once again watery eyes. His hand moved, to rub the spot on his chest right above his heart as if it hurt as mine did.

"I-I don't really know," he whispered. "He won't forgive me, and I never have any chance to explain."

I did the best I could to be sympathetic, I really did, but my hopes and dreams were riding on this, and I had never been good at handling these types of situations.

'_So you boned some girl and now you're afraid to talk to him about it 'because you don't want to be rejected again?'_

His whole body stiffened in offense. "I am not afraid! Besides, he rejected me yesterday, and I haven't fallen to pieces."

'_You cried.' _I pointed out quietly.

His body stiffened even more, to the point where I was worried he was going to sprain something. I could hear his teeth grinding against each other and his eyes had almost crossed. Then suddenly all of the strength and resilience just left his body in a whoosh. He lay motionless for a few moments and I was kind of worried when he opened his eyes again, and I once more stared at the ceiling.

"Is that really it? Have I just been scared?"

I shrugged my ghostlike shoulders. _'I don't know, I'm not your conscience, but isn't that why you cheated on him in the first place?'_

He blew one stray hair out of his face and then patted it back into place with his fingers.

"Yeah. . ."

We lay in silence after I tried my very best not to think of anything. Because when I thought, I thought about Roxas. And when I thought about Roxas it hurt way more then anything had ever hurt in a long time.

* * *

_Sora: _

I stopped halfway to SOB Institute, and stood under a shop awning. I had made up my mind, and no matter what, no matter what happened between Riku and me, I would put it behind me, and find a way to fix this animosity between the two of us. I wouldn't let things keep going on this way, whether he loved me or not. If nothing else, we could at least be friends.

It had been steadily drizzling since I had left my dorm, and I was a little cold. But that wasn't really the issue, what was wrong was this desolate emptiness that was filling my mind.

"Roxas?" I whispered, but still there was no answer.

I was beginning to become afraid. He had said that he was leaving, but I hadn't really taken him seriously. I mean, if he leaves my body without kissing Axel, that means he'll die right? He wouldn't do that would he? My arms began to shake, and it wasn't because I was cold. He wouldn't leave, he wouldn't give up, that isn't the Roxas that I had come to know.

"Roxas?" I asked a little more desperate this time.

But once again there was no answer. Had he really left? My heart was filled with dread and I started walking again towards Riku's school.

"Roxas answer me!" I screamed as I increased my pace, but still no reply. "Roxas please answer me!"

There was nothing. Had I done this? Had I left my own stupid emotions get in the way of not only seeing the truth, but helping a friend? If Roxas had . . . if he. . .

I broke out into a dead run.

* * *

_Riku:_

"What should I do?" I asked softly, breaking the silence.

I felt the wiggling in my head that I had come to define as being Axel's way of shrugging.

'_Why don't you just talk to him?'_

I snorted. "He'll never listen to me."

'_Then if you say the wrong thing, no one's any worse.' _He chuckled, though it was kind of pathetic. Boy, he was really hurting. I don't think I could ever understand that kind of pain, because the situation is so far out of my reality that nothing in my life could ever compare. I had to talk to Sora, if for no one else's sake but for Axel's. I wasn't going to give up, not until I knew with all absolute certainty, that I had done everything I possibly could.

I jumped up from the floor and stuffed myself into a hoodie saying "SOB" in bright green letters.

"Okay, let's go! I'm not going to quit this easy!"

I could hear the hope in his voice when he shouted _'YEAH!'_ and I swore right there that I wouldn't let him down. I flung the door open and flew out of my dorm and outside into the rain.

* * *

_Sora:_

The rain had picked up, and I ran as hard as I have ever run in my life. Everything was a blur as I passed it, smeared out by the dark rain and by my own helpless tears. I passed by a hooded person, almost crashing into them, but I had no time to apologize. Roxas. . . Roxas where are you? Please answer me!

I flung the doors to the dorms open and ran inside, my wet sneakers making loud squeaking noises against the old linoleum. I hoped that this school didn't have an ugly cop too, because I'd be damned if I had to wait outside to dry off. Standing out in the rain to get dry because I was too wet to come inside, yeah that would be just peachy.

Doubling over to catch my breath I pounded frantically on Riku's door, my arms stretched above my head.

"RIKU!" I shouted to the thick white door, the quaint number nailed down swinging back and forth with each of my forceful knocks. "Riku open the door! Riku!"

I slid down to my knees, my forehead resting against the door, large tears dripping down my face. "Riku. . ." I whispered, but there was no sound around me. This was all my fault. Had I managed to lose the man that I love and a friend I cared about who depended on me? Please . . . this can't be happening. I closed my mind, and willed all of this awful stuff to just go away, but when I opened my eyes I was still kneeling on the disgusting fake tile with my head pressed against a door.

"Riku," I whispered again. "Roxas. . ." but no one answered me.

* * *

_Riku:_

I pulled my hood up to cover myself from the rain when I was almost knocked over by a brunette blur. A hot insult was quick to my lips when my eyes caught sight of the retreating backside. Hey! It's not my fault I've memorized the sight of Sora's butt.

'_Was that…?'_

"Yeah."

And he was running for my dorm? Hope sprung in my chest and I tried to calm myself down as I made my way quickly back into the dorm building. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high. All I wanted to was to explain things, and maybe. . .

I saw Sora almost lying in front of my room, his head pressed against the door. His shoulders were shaking in erratic movements though his hair covered my view of his eyes. Was he, crying?

"Sora?" I called out, unable to keep the touch of concern from entering my voice. What was he doing here anyways?

His head jerked up and our eyes clashed, his stark and pained, as my own wide and shocked.

"Ri . . . ku?" he whispered and I jerked my head in an up and down motion that I tried to pass off as a nod. What was he doing here?

"Riku!" He cried, and before I knew what was going on he had jumped up and ran at me . . . straight into my arms.

"Sora?" I choked out, my arms hanging limply at my sides. I was in complete and total shock. Was this for real? What was going on here?

Sora wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight, and I felt him tremble against me. I couldn't help but pull him closer, wrapping my arms around his small shoulders, and lay my cheek against the top of his head. Was this really happening? Was Sora really in my arms of his own will?

"Sora?" I tried again. "Sora, what's going on?"

* * *

_Axel:_

Things looked like they were looking up for the two embracing lovers, and I was happy, but something wasn't right here. Where was. . . Roxas. Terror raced through my faux body. Where was Roxas, and why couldn't I feel him this time? Why couldn't I sense him with our hosts this close? What had happened to Roxas?!

'_Riku! What has he done to Roxas?!'_

* * *

_Sora:_

When I saw Riku, it felt like salvation. All of the memories were forgotten in the feel of his arms, the comfort and security. None of the past mattered anymore, because I knew, I really knew and believed that as long as I had Riku, we could make it through anything.

_**But he hurt you. . .**_ That little devastating voice said in the back of my mind. But this time, it had no power over me. I believed in our love now, and was willing to completely trust him. Please oh God don't let it be too late!

* * *

_Riku:_

'_Riku! What has he done with Roxas?!'_

I jerked my head back from Sora's, back into reality, at the absolute fear I heard in Axel's voice. I shook the soft brunette I held in my arms.

"Sora? Axel wants to know where Roxas is."

Sora looked up at me in his big expressive blue eyes and broke into another round of tears.

"Roxas! He, he got so angry at me from yesterday when I-I couldn't kiss you and he said so many mean things, but it was all true, and he just. . . He said that he was leaving Riku! He said that he was going away and I haven't been able to talk to him all day, and it feels so empty inside Riku, I don't know where he is or what to do, Riku please. . ."

The plea held such compassion and so much need, and yet there was nothing I could do. I had no ideas; I really knew nothing about this sort of thing. I could feel Axel trembling inside my mind, and Sora had once again buried his head into my chest. As much as I loved knowing that somehow, all of the past was behind us, I still felt an imposing dread. What could I do? Axel was making strange whimpering noises, and he was offering no advice. I had to do something but what could I. . .

"Kiss me!" I shouted suddenly, and Sora looked up at me startled.

"Kiss me," I repeated again. "Come on Sora I-"

But I was silenced by soft innocent lips. Sora had leaned up on his toes, his hands braced on my shoulders. There were so many emotions that rushed through my body in that tiny chaste kiss. Love, relief, adoration, anxiety. I wrapped my arms around Sora again and lifted him against me, my lips claiming his for my own. I slipped my tongue along his lower lip, teasing and relishing in his sweet taste. When his lips parted slowly I groaned deep in my throat and pulled us tighter together, melding our bodies as one. He began rubbing his small hands against the back of my neck, and it made me shiver.

Was this working? Was this what Axel had needed to find his love again? Would this really find Roxas? Was this even real? How. . . How was Sora mine again?

I moaned softly as Sora bit my lower lip gently. This was torture. I had so many questions, but this felt too much like heaven to stop this incredible kiss. And then suddenly I felt a strange tingling spreading through my body in electric waves. Sora pulled back eyes wide, and I knew he was feeling this too.

'_Thank you. . .' _

Axel's voice sounded far away, and calm. I looked away from Sora's eyes at a soft flash of light, and for a moment I saw a shape of a tall lithe form, outlined in shimmering light. He had a quirky grin and his eyes held an excited mischief. His long fingers raised and he waved back at Sora and me before running after a retreating back of a shorter spiky haired male. After only another split second more, and they were both gone.

"Goodbye. . . Axel."

Sora looked up at me, and I felt my heart clench. Was he only here for Roxas's sake?

* * *

_Sora:_

There was an apprehension running through my blood that I hadn't felt before as I looked up into Riku's amazing green eyes. This had to be perfect, this-

"I love you!" I blurted out, totally not the way I had planned, and I clapped my hands over my big mouth. If I hadn't known that Roxas was already gone I would have been sure I had been his doing.

Riku's eyes went wide, and I was scared out of my mind. This wasn't what he wanted . . . he was only kissing me for Axel's benefit, or perhaps Roxas's. He didn't really-

"I love you too Sora, I always have. I was just too scared to admit it." He whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

With that look, I knew that he wasn't lying. There was an intense passion burning in those eyes that I loved most, and I knew then that it was a passion only for me. He loved me, and I loved him, and suddenly everything just became so simple. The past didn't matter anymore, now was all that mattered. I had him, and explanations could come later.

"Kiss me," I whispered. Not waiting for a response I rose on my toes and stole my arms around his neck, pressing my lips roughly to his. This time I claimed him, my tongue pushing its way into his mouth and curling around his own. I ran my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and tugged gently, basking in his soft groan.

"Sora. . ." He whispered against my lips. He tried to pull away, and I knew he wanted to talk, but I needed this. I needed to feel the passion that we both shared, I needed a reassurance that this was all real, that I wasn't just dreaming.

"Riku, please." I didn't know exactly what I was asking for, or perhaps I didn't know the boundaries of where my plea ended, but he seemed to understand anyways. With one fast movement he swept me up into his arms and made his way back towards his dorm room. A quick fiddling with the lock and he shoved the door open with his foot. Instead of being set down on my feet on the floor as I was expecting, he lay me down upon his soft comforter on the bed, and rested himself above me on his elbows.

Our lips met once more, and now the passion had turned more desperate. I was clumsy with my shaking hands, and he seemed nervous too, but no matter what he did it was incredible, and judging by his moans I wasn't too far off the mark either. In the darkness of his dorm room I shouted his name, and together we were able to find perfection.

* * *

_Riku:_

"Sora?" I whispered into the calm silence. I rolled onto my side to cup his face in my hands. His eyes fluttered open and I felt that clenching in my chest that I always felt whenever he looked deep into my eyes like that. It felt like he was melding our souls together.

"I've always loved you Riku," he confessed softly.

My eyes turned watery and I blinked rapidly to keep them from spilling onto the face beneath mine. "I've loved you too Sora. Everything that happened before, it was all because I was so afraid that you would leave. I was too scared that I would never be good enough for you that I found myself just giving up. And when I had finally figured out the truth, it was already too late. I'm sorry. . . So sorry."

He reached up and smiled at me. It wasn't any smile either; it was one of Sora's smiles. They're the kind of smiles that can light up a whole room, and turn my insides to butter.

"I forgive you. Besides, from the beginning I didn't trust you. If I had, and if I had told you that I did, maybe things would have turned out better." He leaned up and placed a butterfly kiss to my bare chest and I bit my lip to stifle a shiver. "Besides, we have each other now, and that's all that matters."

It was that complete honesty that our relationship had lacked before. This time, it would be different. Now, we understood each other, and we both knew exactly how devastating it was to live apart. I lay down next to him again, and pulled him into my arms. We laid like that for a long time, and I would have been content to stay this way forever.

"Do you think they're okay?" Sora asked suddenly.

I didn't have to bother asking, I knew exactly who he was talking about, Axel and Roxas. Placing a soft kiss on his forehead I settled us more comfortably in my bed, and pulled a coverlet over us.

"Yeah," I whispered back, looking at the sleepy brunette in my arms. "They've got each other."

* * *

_Roxas:_

I don't know what happened, one moment I'm taking a breath and about to die by final transposing, and then next I'm being thrust into this dark tunnel like place, and I just _know_ that something is chasing after me. I run and run and run, towards what I hope is the opening at the other end, and then suddenly I'm just. . .

Here?

He pulled back after a moment, and I found myself staring into the bright green eyes of Axel, who was breathing heavy. "Rox, I love you. No matter what happens out there, I'll never leave you. I promise."

"A-Axel?" My voice sounded rusty and harsh, as if I hadn't used it in a while.

"Of course it's me, who-"

And then his eyes lost focus, his whole body becoming limp. This was Axel's body, this exact scene the same as before we had both died, down to the very last link in our hastily created chain mail. I struggled to hold him up and then suddenly, he righted himself. I looked up to meet the same green eyes as only a moment before, though these eyes held a sort of hopelessly lost look that I recognized all too well. When his gaze locked onto my own his eyes got wide.

"R-R-Roxas?" He stuttered over his own misused tongue, and had to clear his throat. "Is it really. . .?"

"Did we really. . .?"

"Roxas!"

I was crushed in a tight embrace that I had been missing for so long. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, and buried my head in his chest. Oh God, if this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up. Please, don't let this be some kind of cruel joke.

"Axel, I love you," I gasped out against his chest, my tears drenching his shirt. His long fingers that I adored found their way under my chin and tilted my head up to meet one of his sweet kisses. In that soft kiss I found that which no words could ever describe completely. Love, passion, adoration, trust, and an undying bond between us. This was real, and I had Axel back, for good this time.

When our kiss had ended I pulled back slightly, looking up into his smiling face. "How…?"

He scratched his head in a sort of confused fashion, and I had to smile. He was just way too cute not to in that pose.

"I don't really know," He replied honestly. "One moment I was inside Riku, and the next I was here."

"I thought-I thought that they had to kiss?"

My anger at Sora resurfaced, and now that I had hands I wanted to strangle the little brunette for almost costing me this, for taking away the only thing I ever really wanted in life. Axel. . .

"Sora did it. He was worried about you Rox, and he kissed Riku. I think that everything is going to be okay between those two."

So many things crossed through my mind. I wanted to tear the little brat to shreds, and yet I wanted to hug him and see his smile again and have him laugh and tell me all about one of his ridiculous plans. Oh, pah! I was supposed to be hating him, but. . . had he really gone after Riku for me? Well, of course it had been for him too but, he had tried? I couldn't be mad at him if he really had. And the fact that Axel and I were together was proof of it.

"I'm going to miss them. . ." I confessed softly.

Axel nodded and pulled me close again, nuzzling his cheek against the top of my head. "Yeah, me too. Rox, I'm so glad. . . I've missed you so much you don't even know."

I laughed softly, "Oh I know. And I missed you too."

He leaned down, and I leaned up, and our lips were just about to touch when. . .

"Oh dear, I hope I'm not interrupting."

* * *

_Axel:_

Dear Diary,

We're back! We're back and we're together, and _alive. _I have my own body back! I can feel and touch and taste and move on my own again! This is amazing! And above all of that, I have Roxas again.

I pulled him to me and rested my cheek against his soft hair, relishing in each touch, his soft scent, the very sound of his breathing. "Rox. . . I'm so glad, I've missed you so much you don't even know."

He laughed, and it was the sweetest sound that I have ever heard. "Oh I know. And I missed you too."

We were so close, and we were together, and I needed to kiss him. I needed to seal that everlasting bond that we had together. It was only natural that I lean down, gathering him into my arms, our lips so close. I tilted my head and was about to kiss him when. . .

"Oh dear, I hope I'm not interrupting."

We both turned in shock to stare at none other than Luxord, the Chief Commander of the Castle XIII Guard. He was standing on the side of the small room opposite the door. I may be a bit rusty from being stuck in someone else's body for a few centuries, but I knew my reflexes and observational skills weren't bad enough to allow someone into the room without noticing. Just because Roxas was now mine again, didn't mean I was about to lose him to some surprise attack. And what was worse was this was the Chief Commander, the big wig, the leader of all of the Guard Squads. What was he doing here? Roxas I guess had the same question because he stepped out boldly and asked it straight out.

"What are you doing here?"

There was an edge to his voice, and I quickly pulled him back next to me. Luxord was reputed to have a short fuse, and I would _not _lose Roxas again, not to something this stupid. When my hands found his shoulders, I realized that my small blonde counterpart was shaking. I see, so he smelled that awful fishy smell that I did too. He was right to be upset, something was going on here that it wasn't meant to.

Luxord just chuckled at Roxas's question, and I moved slowly into a fighter's stance. If I had to protect Roxas, I better be prepared. Roxas seemed to get the hint and moved, his hands finding the hilts of his two key shaped blades, belted to each side of his narrow hips. The tall almost white haired man had moved to occupy the only chair in the room. He took much time in settling himself comfortably. I noticed that he didn't have a weapon on him anywhere that I could see. What was going on. And then he looked directly into my eyes, and seemed to grip my mind with a force unseen.

"I hope you lads enjoyed your trip."

I couldn't move under his gaze, could barely breathe. What was going on here? And then he released me from his invisible hold, and actually smiled. That smile was both warm and chilling at the same time. Wait, trip?

"What trip? We haven't gone anywhere!" I spat at him. I knew he was the Chief Commander, and I was in no position to speak to him in such a way, but something just wasn't right here! Roxas grabbed my hand and gave it a little reassuring squeeze. That soft touch put all of my anxieties at ease. We had made it through worse, we could make it through whatever game this man was playing.

"The trip into the future of course. I'm surprised really, I never expected you two to actually find each other."

We both froze. He. . . he knew? How could he know? None of this was making any sense. But Roxas looked white as a sheet and he raised a shaky hand to point directly at Luxord's chest.

"It was you! It was your voice I heard. You-You did this? Why, why would you do that to anyone? Why did you do that to us?!"

He was shouting, and I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him flush against me. Whether it was to restrain him, or because I needed the comfort, I'll never know. I was seriously contemplating bolting out the door with Roxas in my arms, but Luxord gave a long drawn out sigh.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you-"

"Well it did!" Roxas shouted, and I felt his anger. Were we just some kind of ridiculous experiment to this guy? What right did he have to go messing with people's lives like this? "You have no idea what we've been through!"

The Chief Commander actually hung his head. "Again, I'm sorry, but it was needed."

"Needed? How dare-"

But I clamped a hand over Roxas's mouth to silence him. I wanted some answered and I wanted them now. Rox shot daggers in my direction with his eyes and I smiled apologetically. I needed to know what was going on. He slumped his shoulders and closed his mouth. Is it bad that I was getting hard under such a dire circumstance just from feeling his mouth on my fingers? Of course not, right? Totally natural.

"Why?" I asked softly. "Why did you do this?"

Luxord looked into my eyes again, but this time there was no pressure, no control behind his gaze, only remorse.

"Because we are all going to die otherwise."

* * *

_Roxas:_

"Because we are all going to die otherwise."

Even though I had silently agreed to keep, well, silent, I stepped forward in a huff. "Don't give us that bullshit! I want to know why!"

This time Axel didn't silence me, only squeezed my shoulder. I had no idea how much I had missed those small touches that we shared between us. There was so much about him that I had forgotten, and I never wanted to do that ever again. To lose Axel was to lose everything.

Luxord looked me in the eye and I felt a shiver run down my spine. As much as his appearance was in a sort of unthreatening stance, in that look I realized the immenseness of his powers, and why everyone allowed this guy to be Chief Commander. He was scary.

"You two were really the only option I had left. You see, I have an ability to control time to an extent, there are many limitations and rules that I must follow, but this is not the place for idle conversation. I knew when those heartless lowlifes attacked the Castle that we stood no chance. They had taken us completely by surprise, though we didn't tell you subordinates. You were the only ones with wills strong enough to keep going throughout time, where others would have given up. Essentially, you two are our last hope."

I tried to digest this information when something sunk in. "Wait. . . we _are? _As in present tense?"

"Look around you Roxas, don't you know where you are?" Asked Axel suddenly. "This is right before Marluxia came and told us about Zex and Dem."

It was true that I had noticed our surroundings, and our dress, but I hadn't known exactly when this was. My eyes got wide. "You want us to do something on such a short time? What do you expect us to do!?"

Luxord ignored my question. "Zexion has been feeding information to the heartless for some time now, in return for Demyx's continued safety, but as you know, any moment now Demyx will be captured, and Zexion will go after him. But with Zexion's information our enemy knows all of our ins and outs. We need a plan that they will never see coming, and that is why I sent you. You two must come up with something, or history will repeat itself, and we will all end up just as it was before."

The image of Axel standing in front of me, a giant mace sunk deep into his skin flashed into my mind. I would not allow that to happen again. I would not have gone through the hell of the past years, just to have it happen again. I would not lose Axel!

But really. . . what could I do? I had been trained to fight here, all of the battle strategies that I knew came from Zexion, and so those heartless pricks would know them too. Were we doomed to let history repeat itself?

Wait. . . There is. . .

I met Axel's gaze, and an almost electric charge passed between us. So he had been thinking the same thing huh? Maybe, just maybe this could work.

"Luxord, we've got a pl-"

But Luxord was gone. The door flew open and Marluxia thrust himself into the room.

"They already breached the front walls Roxas!"

* * *

_Axel:_

So this was how it was going to go down? One last fight to see if we could really keep this happiness that we had just been recently given. I'd be damned if I'd ever lose Roxas again. This had better work. . . otherwise. . . I wouldn't dare think of the otherwise. It was going to work, there would be no way that the enemy could know anything about this kind of attack.

Marluxia turned to face me, his eyes pained. "They took Demyx hostage, and Zexion after him. No one has heard from them since. Axel you've got to do something, you know Zexion isn't that great of a fighter. Please, you two, save them. I'm not supposed to tell you this stuff but they are our friends! We have to do something."

I looked at Roxas, and he grabbed my hand. We nodded in sync. Right.

I grabbed a quill and a long piece of parchment from the small table, scribbling on it as I spoke quickly. "Marluxia, we need these things, please, find as many as you can and get as many people as you can. We're going to go talk to the captains."

Roxas was already at the door, his blades in his hands. "Come on, lets go."

I thrust the parchment into Marluxia's hands and he looked at me in confusion. "What is all of this?"

"Just get it! We don't have any time left for talk," commanded Roxas, and out the door he ran.

Damn, he was hot giving orders. I put that thought in the back of my mind, and ran after my counterpart's retreating form. We wove through the intricate maze of the castle, up and down in misdirecting hallways.

"If I remember right, it must have taken us at least an hour to work our way through all of those heartless drones last time. We better not waste much more time then that, or who knows what they'll do to Dem and Zexion." Roxas panted out to me as we ran, and I nodded.

"Okay. Let's do this!"

We made it to the inner sanctum in no time, and stopped in front of the large steel double doors that were the entrance to The Hall of Empty Melodies, the Captain's hall. Two guards stepped to bar our path.

"I don't have time for nobodies like you!" Roxas shouted, and made quick work out of them. Seriously, rawr, he was damn sexy.

"Kiss me!" I screamed in girlish plea, and tried to pin him against a wall.

"Weirdo, no time!" He said fiercely, but he still placed a quick chaste kiss on my lips.

I grabbed his hand, and he squeezed my fingers as we pushed in the two metal doors, stepping into the quiet hall.

* * *

_Roxas:_

I wasted no time, though there were a few indignant squawks from the few captains occupying the room.

"What are you twerps doing here?!"

"Quiet!" I shouted in complete bravado. In reality I was shaking in my boots. It would be far too easy for them to just cut me down, but I had to do this. We needed their help. I felt Axel's reassuring presence next to me, and my nerves calmed a little.

"What the hell is-"

"I said quiet! We have a plan, and if you all want to make it out of here alive, you better listen up!" I shouted again.

A mountain of a man bearing an eye-patch threw back his chair as he stood, and it took all of my willpower not to back up a few steps. I recognized him as Xigbar, Captain of the Castle XIII Offensive Squad.

"Why you little-"

"Quiet." The one word stopped Xigbar in his tracks. It was softly spoken, but deadly in intent. It clearly said "If you disobey me, I will rip out your heart and shove it up your ass." I turned to see Luxord sitting at the very back of the room, in a tall chair that was almost kingly, if it wasn't made out of chipped wood. With that one word he commanded attention from all in the room. His eyes sparkled, and I thought I saw a hint of a smile, when he met my gaze. But the smile was gone the moment he turned to look at the three captains seated in the room.

"I think we should listen to the boys." Though the statement sounded like an opinion, it was most definitely a command. Xigbar huffed, but didn't dare go against the Chief Commander. He stalked back to his chair and I tightened my hold on Axel's hand. This may be our plan, but I was out of bravado. I couldn't talk without stuttering now, and we couldn't show any weakness here. He nodded, and cleared his throat.

"This is our plan. . ."

* * *

_Axel:_

"My God, those heatless scum will never suspect this!" Shouted Xigbar. It had taken only moments into my explanation until he had sunk his teeth into our meaty plan.

"It certainly is unique." A hint of laughter accompanied the breathy voice belonging to Saïx, the Captain of Castle XIII Defensive Squad.

"What say you, Xaldin?" murmured Luxord to the until now silent third captain. Xaldin, Captain of Castle XIII Recovery Squad.

"We go."

Well gee, I was expecting much more of a fight then this. Not like we didn't have a huge battle up ahead, but I had expected more. . resistance? Oh well, better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, or so they say. The three captains, once receiving a nod from Luxord, rose and left, leaving scurrying subordinates in their wake. I smiled down at Roxas, and he smiled back at me.

"We did it," I whispered.

"Together." He replied, the love shining in my eyes reflected from his own.

We were about to leave the large room to head to the rendezvous point when Luxord stood, commanding our attention.

"Thank you." He said solemnly.

Roxas looked equally somber. "Don't thank us yet."

* * *

_Roxas:_

We were running to the rendezvous point, just outside the camp where everything had fallen apart before. This was getting a little too similar before for my liking. Would our outlandish plan really work?

"Axel?" I whispered, looking to the sprinting male next to me. His hair was flying back behind him, over the Sitar that was slung over his back for Demyx, and I vowed then and there that, if we lived, the first thing I would do was to bury my fingers in that hair. God, two centuries is hard on a guys libido.

"Yeah?" He slowed a little to look over at me, though we were still running.

"Do you think this is going to work?"

"Yes," he replied instantly and I was shocked by his absolute sureness. "Because I will not lose you again."

I nodded feeling much more certain now. This had to work, I would make it work, because I would never spend any more time away from Axel. I had gone through hell and back and I would never let anything get between us again.

We skidded to a halt when we met the sight of an _army. _ Before it had been just Axel and myself fighting the heartless assholes, but now. . . It looked like everyone that had not been previously injured was here from the Castle XIII Guards. It hit me then, the real extent of this mission. If it failed, all of these people, along with Axel and I, would die. This wasn't just some stupid dream, or something that we had to wrap up in order to move on, this was a fight for our _lives. _For all of our lives. This was no joke, it was life or death.

Marluxia ran over when he caught sight of us, and he looked worn down.

"Is everything ready?" I asked softly, the severity of the situation weighing me down.

"Everything and everyone, exactly as you said." He too was quiet, his eyes bloodshot and hazed.

Axel rested his hand on Marluxia's shoulders. "They'll be fine Marx. We're going to get them out."

I left the scene to find Luxord and the three Captains. "Everything's ready for your command," I announced when I came upon the scene.

Luxord raised his white eyebrows at me. "This is your plan Roxas, yours and Axel's, it's up to you two." The three captains nodded in agreement.

I gulped. Was this for real? They were expecting me to be able to pull this off by myself? I wasn't a leader, I'm not someone who can handle all of this. I just. . .

"We can do this." Axel whispered softly into my ear, wrapping his arms around me. How did he always know exactly what I needed to hear? How did he always know when I needed him the most?

"Together?" I asked quietly, for his ears only.

"Together." He agreed.

I took a deep breath, and then thrust my chin out stubbornly. I had already said I would never lose Axel. If this is what it would take, then I was going to do it.

"LOAD THE CATAPULTS!" I shouted out.

* * *

_Axel:_

This was it. The one moment that my entire future rested on, as well as Roxas's, and everyone else's. Like before, Roxas and I would run into the trap as bait, calling out all of the heartless we knew were hidden somewhere around their campsite, and the. . . all hell would break lose. I took a deep breath and looked over at Roxas. He looked back at me with a fierce determination, and I found my strength in him. He was the reason I would fight, to be with him the reason I would win. We shared one torrid kiss, and then ran blindly into battle.

Just as before, there was no one around, only Demyx and Zexion laying in the middle of the camp. I ran to Demyx and began to untie him, just as I had before.

"Are you alright? Roxas, go bandage up Zexion and try to get him awake. Hold still Dem, we're going to get you two out of here." The words came easily to me, practiced and rehearsed. It was almost humorous, watching this all play out again. But not quite.

Roxas moved over to Zexion's unconscious body and it was just about that time that Demyx was freed of his gag.

"Run you fools it's a trap!"

But this time we were ready. I tossed Demyx his Sitar and shouted "Fight!" He needed no other words before he to was swinging his instrumental weapon around in large arcs, chopping down his foes. I turned to see the large man with the mace approaching Roxas quietly from behind. This was just like before, Roxas. . . Roxas was going to get hurt!

"Rox-!" I choked back the word as Roxas spun expertly on his heels. His two key shaped blades sliced into his enemies skin, chopping him to pieces. "For Axel!" He shouted as he brought the blades down in a finishing blow.

More and more heartless were swarming on the scene, just a little while longer. Just a few more. I dodged an attack quickly and spun my chakras around in my hand, throwing one to slice down my opponent. Just a few more. . . The place was now crawling with our enemies, and I knew that Demyx, Roxas, and I could hold them back no longer. I looked to Roxas and he nodded.

"NOW!" We shouted in sync.

There were many screamed battle cries as soldier after soldier fell upon unsuspecting heartless, trying to hack them into small pieces. But, they still knew all about or attack patterns, and the charge was quickly stopped, everyone become engaged in battle. Suddenly, someone from the far right sounding decidedly like Xigbar shouted "FIRE!" And Roxas and I both ducked for cover, grabbing Demyx and dragging the still unconscious Zexion along with us.

The catapults were released as thousands upon thousands of gallons of raw eggs flew through the air, along with gallons of paint like substances, drowning the heartless bastards in the sticky substance. There was no chance for our poor foe as the eggs kept flying. Soon, the whole area was covered in jizz-look alike. The soldiers that had fallen back at the beginning of the catapult assault came back with a vengeance, exterminating all the remaining heartless that were stuck in place by the mass amounts of egg. I stood, as did Roxas, and we looked at one another.

Finally, it was just too much for me to bear and I let out a great whoop of laughter, holding my sides. Roxas bit his lip hard, but I could see his shoulders shaking, and his eyes watering with held in mirth.

"Oh my god, it worked!"

I grabbed the now laughing Roxas and twirled him around as the dazed looking Demyx took Zexion to the injuries tent. Roxas ran his fingers into the mass that was my hair, and pulled my lips to his, kissing me passionately. I of course, returned with fervor.

"Ahem." A soft voice said.

We broke apart, and I put Roxas back down on the floor, quickly straightening my rumpled clothes.

"Luxord," Roxas said a little guiltily at being caught kissing for a second time.

The white haired man just chuckled, and smiled widely, the first time I had seen him smile. Really, it was just plain creepy. Egh.

"Boys, you have saved the day, as I knew you would. But, is there anything that I can do for you?"

Roxas looked at me, and I looked at him. I knew what I wanted but I had to be sure that Roxas wanted it too.

"Roxas do-"

He smiled at me impishly as he covered my mouth with a finger. "Yeah, I do." He whispered in agreement. I grinned, and we both turned towards Luxord.

"Well," I said advancing on the Chief Commander.

"There is one thing," Roxas continued, following after me.

Needless to say, Luxord looked a little worried.

* * *

_Riku: _

I toyed with Sora's hair, as he rambled on about something I was only half paying attention to. Something about cabbage, or whatever.

"And then the cabbage attacked the. . ." See, cabbage.

All of a sudden, a loud knocking sound came from the other side of my dorm room door. Well really, of course it would come from the other side, no one would be knocking for entry from the _inside_ of my door, but that's besides the point. Sora sat up along with myself, and looked confused.

"Riku?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders as I pulled a shirt over my bare chest. "I don't know either." I replied honestly. I made my way to the door, and waited until Sora was suitably dressed before opening it. Jiggling the knob, I pulled the door open, and found myself looking up at a wickedly grinning face lined with a bright red _mane_ of hair. He looked like Sonic the Hedgehog turned human. His face looked vaguely familiar but I was sure I would have recognized him by his outlandish hair style, and facial tattoos.

"Uh, do I know you?"

"Awe, Rikie-poo, you don't remember me?"

Wait. . . Rikie. . .poo?

Someone else must have had the same question because a voice laced with a tinge of humor said "Rikie-poo? My gosh, what happened between you two that I was unaware of?" A blonde that looked almost exactly like Sora stepped from behind the tall strangers back, a smile playing on his lips.

Sora came up behind me, and rested his hand on my shoulder. I was completely confused at this point. Rikie-poo? I knew I had heard it before, but from where? Who the hell would I let live after calling me Rikie-poo? And what did he mean, "happened"?

"Riku, who are these. . ." And then he gasped, and I turned to face him, worried.

"Sora, are you-"

But I never had a chance to finish because Sora had flung himself at the blonde haired boy, squealing in glee.

"ROXAS!" Sora shouted, clamping himself onto the blonde, who laughed and hugged Sora with almost as much enthusiasm. I say almost as much because no one can ever match Sora for enthusiasm. Never.

Wait. . .R-Roxas? This had to be some kind of joke, or some weird trick. How could Roxas be here? And if that was Roxas, then the string bean looking guy had to be. . .

"Axel?" I asked, shocked.

The maniacal grin that I had only ever heard in his voice and never seen lit up the strangers face, and he waved slightly. That's right, Axel was the only one who had ever called me Rikie-poo, and he had only been allowed to survive because I could never really hit him. Well, that was different now.

Sora gasped, and Roxas stared at me dumbfounded as I landed a solid punch to Axel's jaw. Axel himself was the only one who seemed unfazed, and just quirked an eyebrow at me.

"What was that for?"

"For all the times you zapped me."

For a moment he just looked at me blankly, and then he threw back his head and laughed. After a while I joined in, and then we both hesitantly gave each other the "man hug," which consisted of much back slapping and manly grunts.

"So, uh, how is this possible?" I asked finally.

Roxas and Axel just traded looks, and then smiled an equally warm smile.

"Love." They said simply, and I guess, as I pulled Sora into my arms, when all the cards were down, Love was all that really mattered.

* * *

**A/n:** Welp, that's all folks. Please review, because it would make me happy.

Hope you enjoyed the story.


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